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Is it wrong to think about another man a lot whilst in a relationship?

(6 Posts)
Zebraa Tue 20-Oct-09 22:08:52

Can't refer direct in case anyone I know reads...

Basically, a friend has been with her boyfriend for 4 years, they have no children but have a house together. She has recently met a much older man (married with 3 kids (oldest is her age - she is 25 and he is 47) and they have been texting what appears very innocent wording but has a flirty undertone that they both are fully aware of. She openly jokes about liking him - in front of her boyf too - but all very tongue in cheek.

Nothing has happened yet, neither have actually told the other they're interested but its apparent. They both spend more time than is necessary together.

Is this more than just enjoying each others company? Her boyfriend is very important to me and though she is too, I don't want to see him get hurt.

Any suggestions?

Zebraa Tue 20-Oct-09 22:09:55

I might as well have said their names from that description! blush

EcoMouse Wed 21-Oct-09 03:05:31

She may or may not be moving towards an infidelity, you will only know this for sure if she chooses to take you into her confidence.

If you genuinely feel this is on the horizon and believe it is your place to get involved, speak with her.

Although, you give the impression that you already have so I'm struggling to understand why you don't have more of a grasp on her stance and intentions?

Again, if this is because she has not taken you into her confidence in this regard, there is little you can/should do.

TanteRose Wed 21-Oct-09 03:41:17

I glanced at this and thought it said "Is it wrong to think about a man who whistles a lot in a relationship?" grin
Oh and I would tell her to stop being a silly mare, the man is married with kids fgs. So he needs a smack too imo...

higgle Fri 23-Oct-09 12:25:26

It sounds to me to be very much the scenario where he will advance the relationship if he can either to achieve a conquest or just because of the enhanced self esteem of pulling a much younger woman. She might get some short term fun out of it but the chances are he will drop her once the novelty wears off and he gets sick of the texts and emails. This happens a lot, it happened to me and it caused me great misery for a while.

If he is 47 he might not be nearly so attractive with his clothes off!

diddl Fri 23-Oct-09 12:33:03

Not sure if wrong, but odd and disrespectful?

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