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Should I cause a family row? Brother being a dick.

(9 Posts)
mamas12 Mon 19-Oct-09 15:06:45

Have had to have a word with him before about his aggressivness towards us (we are six siblings)
Ever since his turning 40, don't know if that is a coincidence, but he has had an affair then his wife divorced him and he went ballistic. He ended up spending a night in the cells because he was dive bombing his ex car (jumping onto it) causing loads of damage.

After me pointing out his behaviour was unacceptable and I wouldn't put up with it he did apologise.

But he we are again he is soo abusive and this time it's just towards me and one other sis. Yesterday we had a lovely day at my mums birthday apart from his attitude. The older ones go along with the placating side of it like parents because he is the youngest but I'm fed up!
I know I sound like I'm stamping my foot but he does this in front of my dcs and I don't want them thinking anyone can get away with that. (I divorced their father because of EA) I never thought I'd say that I'm giving up on one of my brothers.
Thing is he might not even notice that I haven't done any of the usual phoning for about a month so far and I probably think he doesn't care.

Sorry this just sounds like a rant.

diddl Mon 19-Oct-09 16:13:51

Well, I´d see him as little as possible, tbh.

But why would that cause a family row?

mamas12 Mon 19-Oct-09 22:24:02

Because whenever we see each other it's always all together, so it would be obvious if a) I stop turning up or b) I ignore him
It sounds so petty but I give up.

mrsboogie Mon 19-Oct-09 22:57:32

so, he's the youngest and everyone placates him and goes along with it? He's a 40 yr old spoilt brat. Just ignore him, walk away when he starts. Don't contact him.

6feetundertheGroundhogs Mon 19-Oct-09 23:11:14

you're perfectly reasonable to want to take a break from all that, till he gets whatever it is out of his system.

You're not giving up, you are stepping back.

mamas12 Tue 20-Oct-09 22:42:04

Thanks mrsboogie and 6feet that's a new slant on things I feel better about doing now so I def. will.
See how long it takes the rest of the family realise. Not only him.

2rebecca Wed 21-Oct-09 09:29:04

I'd stop turning up to big family gatherings. Have you tried talking to your other sibs about him? They may feel the same and you could meet together without him.
If you are all together and he starts I would say something about his unpleasantness. Families only let this sort of thing go on because people don't mention it and make the bullier explain their comments and actions.
Seems odd that with that many of you you don't sometimes meet in smaller groups.

Avendesora Wed 21-Oct-09 16:30:02

How would you family react if every time he acts up you leave?

mamas12 Wed 21-Oct-09 21:20:16

Aven that's what I mean about causing the row. Because I would be the one doing something about him.
We all get together on big occasions e.g. mum birthday, 50th birthdays etc.

Othertimes we are small groups.

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