DH is a doctor. It took him 13 years to become a consultant and for most of this period he worked horrendous antisocial hours. For a long time he worked weeks in excess of 100 hours.
For most of this time it didn't bother me - I learned to live with it, though often felt lonely at weekends. However, when we had our first child I found this very difficult to cope with and looking back, I probably had PND. Our daughter was a poor sleeper and generally grumpy baby and I was left alone all weekend and had to do the nights and the days when DH was on night shift.
Weekends were always particularly hard because friends were busy doing "family" things. It was a very isolating period.
We had no local support with the exception of DH's parents. During the first 4 years of DD's life they never once offered to look after her, never came over to keep me company or even just "drop by" at weekends. They ONCE took her for a walk because we begged them to help us when DH worked a whole month without a day off.
Anyway, we now have a second baby and DH started a consultant job in August. Our life is much much easier because he hardly ever has to work a weekend and never has to work nights. All of a sudden we have some quality of life; some "family" life.
BUT - the minute he got the new job, his parents started turning up EVERY weekend. They have fallen into a pattern of telephoning on a Friday afternoon, speaking to DD1 (who is now four) and arranging to visit.
I am so incredibly resentful of them.
Why couldn't they visit when I really needed them? They really expect to start comandeering our family life the minute it has started.
DH agrees with my assessment of the situation, but they are his parents.
I just want to rant and vent and for someone to understand....
Is this unreasonable? How do I cope with it?
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Relationships
Absent in-laws suddenly want to be here every weekend.
teenybitresentful · 18/10/2009 22:16
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