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Rubbish new man?

(12 Posts)
picmaestress Sun 18-Oct-09 21:55:40

I met a really great man at a wedding 5 weeks ago, we sat next to each other, and ended up having so much fun together. We had a snog and a cuddle, (didn't stay together though) and he gave me a lift back to London the next day. He took my number, but after a week he hadn't called. So I emailed him. Got a nice email back after a couple of days with an apology that it wasn't quicker due to manic work, we emailed a few more times, and finally set a date to meet up for a drink last week.
He cancelled the night before, but was full of apologies.
He has repeatedly said his job is totally nightmarish at the moment, and his emails have been really charming and apologetic.

I found out from his close friends today that he has emotional issues stemming from the death of his father. Apparently his job is a total nightmare, but that he designs his life to be so busy kind of on purpose, because he's terrified of committing to a relationship. His friends are all getting very exasperated with him. In any case I'm not even looking for a relationship, I just wanted a quick drink with him to see if we like each other!

Am I completely crazy to carry on communicating with him? Is it rude to keep someone hanging on for over a month to go for a drink? He does seem to really want to meet up, but I now feel like a bit of a numpty.

ninah Sun 18-Oct-09 21:56:48

yes leave it, life's too short for men with ishooss (she says bitterly)

ScaryFucker Sun 18-Oct-09 22:04:51

yes, don't try to rescue him

it will end in tears...yours

find someone who is emotionally available, you will see there is a world of difference

if it is this hard already, it will get horrible, believe me

Heated Sun 18-Oct-09 22:09:27

You're doing all the work and, if you got together, that sounds like it would still be true.

Twintummy Sun 18-Oct-09 22:09:42

Yes. Leave it. It will be horrible and such hard work.

picmaestress Sun 18-Oct-09 22:10:42

Ironically I am in the process of divorcing a man who is...guess what? Full of ishoos and emotionally unavailable.
Sigh. Will I never learn?

WickedWench Sun 18-Oct-09 22:23:15

Run like the wind in the opposite direction......

picmaestress Sun 18-Oct-09 22:30:05

Very weirdly while I was posting this, just got an email from a really nice man who I haven't heard from in nearly a year, asking how I am.
Thanks ladies, think I'll concentrate on the keen ones

WickedWench Sun 18-Oct-09 22:46:54

Oooh that sounds much more promising!

Let us know how you get on grin

overmydeadbody Sun 18-Oct-09 22:50:40

Yeah don't bother with the guy in your OP. Life's too short.

aseriouslyblondemoment Sun 18-Oct-09 23:17:49

if i were you i'd concentrate on getting thru your divorce then spending time on your own or with your friends in order to just enjoy life and to heal emotionally as even if it's you instigating divorce proceedings there is still a time needed to grieve as it were tho it might not be apparent
this particular man obv isn't interested,as if he were nothing would stop him from dating you and that's a fact
and the other guy emailing isn't being friendly he's out for a quickie
i'm sounding blunt i know but i'm speaking as a fellow divorced mum

SolidGhoulBrass Mon 19-Oct-09 23:37:44

Some people are just not bothered about having a couple relationship. This man sounds like far more trouble than he would be worth, if a couple relationship is what you want. Life is too short to waste on pursuing someone who is simply not that bothered about you.

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