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Can i have your opinions?

(22 Posts)
WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:25:56

Regular who has namechanged.

DD was just sick on the carpet. DH was dealing with DD, and I was cleaning the carpet and sorting out the washing.

DH throws his shirt on floor which has sick on it. I say "oh don't throw your sick covered shirt on the floor".

DH says to DD "your mummy is useless".

He is usually lovely.

Can I have your opinions on this?

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:27:37

bad day? speak to him later

FlamingoBingo Fri 16-Oct-09 20:28:00

How was it said?

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:28:02

Was also just told that it was because I was "being nippy" hmm

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:28:28

It was said to DD, not me, and in a serious and nasty quiet voice.

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:29:24

I have also been feeling low recently and have health problems, which makes it a bit more nasty, I think.

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:29:58

if this is out of character you need to talk to him and find out what's going on, don't you?

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:30:34

It's mostly out of character although probably every week he gets into a bad mood and says stuff like this.

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:33:49

so he isn't 100% lovely normally then. I'm not surprised you're feeling low, sounds like he is taking out whatever frustrations he has at work, whatever on you
don't like it he is calling you useless
have you tried telling him how it makes you feel (at a time when he is in a better mood)? how would he react if you spoke to him that way?
don't like him using your dd either

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:35:39

It's very odd, it is like he is lovely all week then at regular intervals he speaks to me in this abusive manner sad

Feels like not enough to leave for but don't want to always have to live with it

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:37:12

So is there a pattern to it? Fridays? work stress?
have you tried telling him how you feel?

overmydeadbody Fri 16-Oct-09 20:37:45

He was stressed, it is never easy cleaning up a sicky child.

What he probably meant was "that's not the most helpful comment you could have given me right now"

And he probavbly didn't mean it. Talk to him.

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:40:53

He was, and I just got a grudging apology. I suppose it's just happening a bit often and I just feel it crosses a line.

Thanks for the opinions...it helps...

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:41:47

ninah - It's basically just when he is tired, but has happened pretty much every Friday/Saturday since we met (10 years ago).

diddl Fri 16-Oct-09 20:43:50

Bit pedantic,but did he throw his shirt on the carpet you were cleaning,or towards the washing you were sorting?

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:44:14

apology from a man? blimey grudging or not that's like getting the Nobel Peace Prize
could you book a babysitter and have a night out to look forward to - sounds like you both need a break

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:52:57

Diddl - he threw it on the carpet which i had just cleaned, I had already taken the washing away.

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:53:26

ninah - yes, we do.

Am still not comfortable with him saying stuff to my DD about me though. sad

diddl Fri 16-Oct-09 20:55:21

That´s not good.
And how does that make you useless?

Íf he´d thrown it in the general direction ofwashing you were sorting,I might have let himoff!
But still not excused the useless comment

And saying it to your childhmm

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 20:55:59

It was just a dig and was him saying what hurts me the most.

ninah Fri 16-Oct-09 20:57:37

I know, that's not on
when you are both more relaxed, tell him - no remarks to dd
if we lone parents can control the urge to make such comments he should certainly be able to do so. Bad form
but on the bright side, he's apologised - and it's the weekend!

WellWhatDoISayToThat Fri 16-Oct-09 21:08:30

ninah - you are obviously a lovely sunny positive person! (unlike moi!)

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