Hi heron22 each to their own but that's how I refer to it at the moment! I'm on mat leave with DD and during the week from 8 until 7.30 (when DH is out of the house at work) then running the house and looking after DD is my job. When we're both in the house, we both do what needs doing. But - I try to make sure that most chores and what have you are done during the week so that weekends are purely for family time. But I only have 1!
But it is your job. If you have given up working outside the home, it is surely because you want to 'work' inside the home. So yes, it is your 'job'. But it is also a vocation, done with love etc. in the way that many jobs outside the home aren't.
Why are you unhappy with what he said? It's just a word. At least he knows you have a job rather than thinking you don't do work at all which a lot of dads of SAHM seem to think...
Well it is a job really, isn't it? The tasks are divided between you and DH, he is in employment to bring in the money necessary to run the household. Your half is to run the house and look after the children.
Now that's not to say that he should do nothing to help you in the evenings and at the weekends - in our house things are split 50/50 when DH is at home, and when he's at work I do it all.
Cookinmama - what a bizarre comment. DH earns money for us, as a family. That money is as much mine as it is his.
well if it's your job surely he should be paying you and until such time as he does he should help. I don't think that men realise that if you are a sahm there is no respite and even less if your DH sees it all as your job. Fair enough 9 - 5 it is your job as there is noone else to do it but once he is home it should be more of a split. (having said that I work 3 days and I think DH still thinks anything to do with the DC is my job - and no i don't get paid either!)
did he say it meaning it's your job or your job? iyswim. ie did he mean that it's your responsibility, all of it, not his. or did he mean that it's like a job with comparable challenges, a similar/greater work load, something you have to do everyday? if the former then I would have been annoyed. if the latter then it's too hard to say - would depend on how he meant it. dismissively? or with respect? does he think it's a rubbish job or a good one? a hard one or an easy one? too many variables to say if it would have annoyed me.
ooo just seen the thing about taking them to school - that would definitely annoy me. during the time when he's not at work then stuff that needs doing at home should be shared (on the basis that when he is at work you're working too - anything that needs doing when he's not at work needs splitting)
Not bizarre Ali as quite often sahm's seem to have no cash of their own as it is the DH that works and controls the cash. I am not saying that happens in all cases but it is definitely happening in a lot of relationships.
I refer to being SAHM as my job and it doesn't bother me at all. It IS my job, its as much a valuable contribution to our family life as DH's money-earning is!
We're a bit unusual in that over our years as parents we have:
me work FT, DH SAHD
me work MTW, DH work TF
DH work FT, me SAHM (now)
so DH knows what its like to be the one at home.
That said, I do do 99% of all the chores/kids stuff. It really isn't that difficult to keep a house clean when you've got 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to do it, notwithstanding having 3 children. I do get irritated by the "but I've got 2 children to look after, DH you MUST do half the housework, I don't get paid blah blah blah" mob. Stop being so bloody lazy, think I.
I am SAHM, I gave up work to look after my children. I spend 9-10 hours a day with the children DH spends 9-10 hours a day at work. When he comes home he has a cup of tea and then I expect him to help with childcare/tidying/whatever needs doing. If he is around he helps as he can leave work I never get way from my 'job' (i.e looking after 3 preschoolers.)
Incidentally, I am a SAHM not a housewife. My job is looking after our children, any housework that gets done is a bonus. I do however do all the cooking.