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Does it matter who divorces who?

(5 Posts)
mellowdramatic Wed 14-Oct-09 17:52:40

Sorry if this is a stupid question but I've really no idea! I threw h out a few months ago when i found some text messages from ow. I don't think he's still with her. But now i've got divorce papers through. Some of what he claims i've done is just lies, some is exaggerated and there are small elements of truth. All of it is really horrible, and entirely from his selfish, hateful point of view. Is it easier/cheaper just to agree? I've got a solicitor but it'll be a few days i expect before i can talk to her - I work FT and have 2 dcs.

I really don't have a clue about all of this but I'm really conscious that this is going to cost a fortune to no-one's benefit except the the solicitor, so any free advice would be appreciated!

diddl Wed 14-Oct-09 17:56:40

No it doesn´t.

You could also start proceedings against him.

But as you say, who benefits?

I think you can contest the grounds, though.

missingtheaction Wed 14-Oct-09 18:22:47

It is easier/cheaper just to agree. Every time you go through the solicitor it's going to cost hundreds (acually, i used to reckon on £1000 for every sodding issue and niggle raised by XDH).

If you can bear it just smirk, agree, make a huge joke about it to your friends and family (and his friends and family if possible) and get on with it.

Whoever it was said something about libel like 'either your friends will not believe it anyway, in which case why make a fuss, or they will in which case why make a fuss' (if anyone knows the proper quote i'd be grateful)

LisaD1 Thu 15-Oct-09 19:10:22

My exh used to cheat,gamble our money away, pay for sex with prostitutes, you name it, he did it. I finally had enough and left. Started seeing a new man and the cheeky git exh divorced me on the ground of adultery shock angry I just agreed, let him think he had won and my divorce was through in 6 months! I am now happilly married and nobody cares what's written on the divorce papers, just glad to be free of the arsehole!!

angelfire Thu 15-Oct-09 20:00:55

There should be a space on the form where you can confirm 1) that you do not agree with the details of the grounds for the divorce BUT 2) will not contest it AND 3) each side should pay their own costs. That is the option many people use. It is effective without compromising your position

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