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fed up of being nice

(4 Posts)
LadyGibrill Tue 13-Oct-09 13:17:36

hi all,
been was wid my x for 6yrs. We ave a 10mth old 2getha. i kicked him out in may o9 cause I was fed up wid al the lies n game playing. He'd b out al the time wid other gals (not tat i think he was doing anything wid em) he just wanted me 2 seem parnoid in front of people. he was very manipulative n emotionally abusing. he was neva home n wen he was he wdnt speak 2me 4days me n my baby would n in the bedroom n him on d xbox al night. I was doing everything at home paying all the bills, childcare, house wife wateva he wanted reali.
I cdnt be intimate wid him cause i was so depressed so tat was anotha problem kept rhinking hed go elsewere. I kept trying 2 talk 2 him but he didnt want 2 no just said he was happy wid d way things were. He neva gave me any money had 2 go csa. hed spend it on himself fancy clothes, car, hses not 4 us thou i live in a 1 bed council flat. i was so down at one point i thought I had Biplolar luckely its just normal depression which im now going counciling for.

the thing tat reali bug me r tat he moved in wid a woman n her baby his been der 4mths n doesnt seem 2 going everywere soon he stays der cause its cheap. People keep coming up 2me saying der 2getha n tat d baby she has is his.
I let him c his gal regulary cause i didnt ave a dad about n wdnt do tat 2 her. I try 2 be nice invite him 2 d important things like her 1st bday, xmas, swimming etc but he just takes advantage of my good nature. He spends all his time wid dis otha boy who prob thinks his, his dad. He buys my gal nothing, d only time he wants 2no is wen ders people about so he can play his role of superdad....the only people tat no d truth bout him r those close 2me every1 else thinks his a saint. im fed up wid trying to be d betta person i want him 2 love my gal like i do.

Wats d best way 2deal wid dis kind of person? Also he has 2otha kids y same woman n shes horrible 2him n he seems 2 respect it.
But im just not tat kinda person.
any advice would b appreciated.

Northumberlandlass Tue 13-Oct-09 13:49:16

Sorry LadyGbrill - please can you not write in text 'speak'. It's really difficult to read in a long post.


Northumberlandlass Tue 13-Oct-09 13:50:17

ooo - didn't want that to sound arsey blush. I am sure your problems are genuine, I just find it hard to read.


hobbgoblin Tue 13-Oct-09 13:53:45

you can't make him be a better parent and that is a very sad reality. stop doing all the work and see what that brings? if it isn't what you hope for for your daughter then there is very sadly nothing you can do about it. so long as you do the best you can for her that's the most important thing. the more time yiu spend on him the more you risk not giving your dd the best of you.

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