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my husband has left me for another woman

(63 Posts)
loughtongirl Mon 12-Oct-09 20:16:23

My husband waited for me to go to work last week and while i was gone he packed all his belongings and took them to a flat which he had rented. I had absolutely no idea this was coming. We had known each other for 25 years and had been married for 21 of them. He told me that he could no longer live with me because it was killing him. It has since transpire that he is seeing another woman that he met at work. We have a 15 year old daughter who will be taking her gcses this year. At the moment i am not sure i can get myself through this. Any advice would be welcome as i do have a supportive family but no friends,

victoriascrumptious Mon 12-Oct-09 21:05:43

Loughton? As in Essex? Is that were you are living right now? I'd meet up with you if you were closer sad

6feetundertheGroundhogs Mon 12-Oct-09 21:06:52

I remember the first christmas, my mum took my sister and I away. We visited friends in US, it was great. Is that something you could do? Be good to give yourself a project to plan?

Agree with looking at the social/leisure centre for a starters. Any sport you'd wished you could have a go at and never go around to? Now's your chance!

Have you got any family you could get to go with you if you are a little nervous?

victoriascrumptious Mon 12-Oct-09 21:06:53

It's already been suggested you protect any money in a joint account. I think you should do this ASAP.x

anothermum92 Mon 12-Oct-09 21:08:27

Message withdrawn

Lilyloooohhhh Mon 12-Oct-09 21:12:46

Check out the local board one here maybe ttend one of their meet up's.
Ask when the next do at work will be and make yourself available.
Join an evening class , gym etc all good ways to meet new people.
Good luck and what a sh** to be so spineless.
But agree with other posters regain control of this by doing things that cheer you up and show him , even if it doesn't feel like it on the inside' you can live without him and aren't reliant on him to make you happy.

Good luck

loughtongirl Mon 12-Oct-09 21:14:57

I do feel it has happened very quickly and think he has made a big mistake. It has crossed my mind he is having a midlife crisis he was 41 in june

loughtongirl Mon 12-Oct-09 21:21:15

Thanks for the offer to meet up victoriascrumptious I actually live in hullbridge now but i was living in loughton essex and that was where i was most happiest hence nickname

6feetundertheGroundhogs Mon 12-Oct-09 21:32:04

countingto10 Bloody brilliant post! Good for you!

LAUGHLOTS Mon 12-Oct-09 22:32:00

So sorry. My husband left me for another woman at work...... Yeah yeah heard it all before!!

It is hard, but it does make you stronger in the end, and you certainly find out who your real friends are. Ive made so many more new friends and im a year down the line and I am happier than ever and am so busy i haven't got time to spare him a single thought.


Big Hug x

mamalovesmojitos Tue 13-Oct-09 21:15:15

how are things going loughtongirl? was thinking about your post today. hope you're ok.

WhenwillIfeelnormal Wed 14-Oct-09 14:58:46

Hi Loughton girl. I'm also worried about you, especially as there are now 2 threads involving cowardly men leaving without proper explanation. How are you?

newgirl Wed 14-Oct-09 15:01:18

crikey im so sorry

have you had time to get some legal advice? also check the finances like someone has said

get that stuff stable and then you know you can look after your daughter

starwhoreswonaprize Wed 14-Oct-09 15:03:46

Make plans assuming the worst, that he'll take all the money and house....ensure he cannot.
I'm really sorry.

loughtongirl Fri 16-Oct-09 12:14:51

Thanks for all the kind messages of support. Just taking each day at a time and hopefully i can come out of this sane.

magpumpkin Fri 16-Oct-09 13:01:45

Loughtongirl, this was me 10 years ago. My EXH had moved me and our DS 4yrs old 100 miles from my job & friends to a new area as we would be "bettering ourselves propertywise". Don't get me wrong it was a lovely new house and I thought we could be really happy there, he would still work in our old town but commute(shift worker who could stay in the firestation during shift hours), but 2 months later he tells me over the phone that he doesn't love me anymore and had not loved me for 2 years. WTF... we only got married 18 months earlier after spending 10 years together. At his insistance I might add. I wrote him 1 letter asking to give it another go. No reply. I never asked again. To much pride. I found out he had another women and had already moved in with her back in our old town. (Hence the move). It took me about a month to find a job, I was lucky my DS had just started school so I met some lovely mothers who once they heard my news rallied around me. It will take time to get over the shock and utter bewilderment that someone you loved could hurt you so badly. But it does ease. Just be strong. I sold the house and bought my DS and me a smaller house. My EXH said soon after I chased him for maintence for our son that "it's alright for you - you have a lovely little property when all I have is a rented house" that may I add made my year. The grass is not always greener. 10 years down the line I have met and married a wonderful man and now have a DD also. EXH still has contact with DS but still can't look me in the eye when we meet. Karma I say....

dfrdg Sat 06-Oct-12 00:14:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

dfrdg Sat 06-Oct-12 00:14:44

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 00:22:58


MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Sat 06-Oct-12 00:29:53

Spell caster? What the actual fuck?!

A zombie thread advertising a spell caster, thats got to be a first hmm grin

I hope the op from 3 years ago is in a happy place in her life now

QueenieLovesEels Sat 06-Oct-12 00:46:24


Dryjuice25 Sat 06-Oct-12 01:04:17

Fantastic advice from Countingto10

Dryjuice25 Sat 06-Oct-12 01:06:15


Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 01:08:02

YOu gotta give these spammers their due, trawling for a 2009 thread in order to advertise the wonderful spell casting abilities of The Great Wizardo does show commitment!

QuintessentialShadows Sat 06-Oct-12 01:10:57

What a great zombie thread.

I too can create ever lasting love (at least sexual passion) through baking cookies on menstrual blood and semen, and getting the two to eat it.

See, I can tell you this without charging a penny. DNA from both, together with herbs, in water, facing north, in a jar, or mug, in a quiet room, and whohei! Babies. Incantations are needed.

mum11970 Sat 06-Oct-12 01:21:59

So sorry Hun. You dh sounds like a coward going through a mlc. Do let the school know what is going on for your dd's. Let your friends know, join a gym and go along to classes, you'll soon make friends at women based classes like step and LBT, and just going out and exercising will make you feel so much better.

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