Ok, I am totally aware that I dont actually like my mil very much, she just grates on me, always makes jokes at my expense and has developed a deaf ear when I am trying to assert myself with regards to ds.
basically they live 3 hours away so when they come to see ds who is 3 months, they come for a weekend. Luckily the mum and dad stay in a hotel, but dp's sister (20)stays with us, which is ok. The troublel is that they all seem happy to sit in our (very small) living room for 2 full days, arriving early each morning and leaving at about ten at night. I find it really hard to stick to ds's routine, which i feel its really important to maintain as he is a poor sleeper and keeping to having a nap in his room every 3 hours really helps him to not be hideously grumpy.
Last time they came, they arrived early, just as i was feeling ds in my bedroom, with door closed, getting ready to put him down, so the mum and the sister troop in, talking really loudly, stroking and kissing ds's head (while im breast feeding him) and i said 3 times, "actually im just putting him down for a nap, then he will be nice and fresh for you to have lots of cuddles when he wakes up" mil ignored me, and when dp came up to say "lets leave them to it, he needs a nap" mil said " oh, are you putting him down for a sleep? i didnt realise!! Oh well he wont be having naps while im here!!!!"
I was so fuming, that i went to hang washing out once ds was down, and upon my return, ds had cried out, (he often does this, i usually just resettle him and then he sleeps for an hour or so) and shes gone up with dp and got him up!!!!!! then shes reiterating that he wont be napping while shes here!!!!
Basically, she ignores everything i say "does he really need it ?" when shes holding ds who is crying.
So that annoys me, also they are just so overbearing and in ds face all the time, even when i went upstairs to lie down with him to give him a feed and to nap together (after v unsettled night), dp's sister was knocking on the bedroom door, woke ds up talking and then said "oh! hes awake, can i pick him up?".
I dunno, i just find the whole thing a bit intrusive, but im aware i may be being overprotective, especially as mil irks me anyway. I need advice on how to let this wash over me, as i cant escape from them for a whole weekend, i even have an audience at nappy changes, and believe it or not, even when i was sat in bed and ds and i werent even up, early on sunday morning, and i was in bed feeding him and also pumping milk, the sister came in the room!!!
they are coming next weekend, I have suggested that we go to them, as i think at least we can escape to visit other family and friends down there and we wont be on my territory so maybe i wont feel so invaded??
sorry this is so long, what do you all think?
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Coping with Inlaws visits, advice pease!!!
10 replies
jojo76 · 10/06/2005 09:41
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