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DH not dealing well with the fact that I need councelling/support wrt him being ill

(6 Posts)
Norton Wed 07-Oct-09 20:49:13

He keeps saying "I don't why you need to talk to people, it's me that's ill"

I need to talk to people

The vicar is coming round tomorrow to 'chat' I will cry & get upset & DH will go off on one & be in a strop

I get so pissed off - his attitude is mostly why I need support

mamas12 Wed 07-Oct-09 23:09:01

Of course you need support to be able to support him.
And why does he have to be there, can't you speak with whoever you need to in private at all?

jasper Wed 07-Oct-09 23:24:29

you poor thing.
i hope you have a nice vicar.
Do chat.
Do cry
Do get upset.
Let it all out.

He will go off on one and/or strop.
Ignore him. It may be his twisted way of coping.

Good luck

retiredgoth2 Wed 07-Oct-09 23:28:55

It sounds like you need to talk to someone away from your husband; could you go to the vicarage instead?

...plainly you and your husband have issues to resolve. But you need to get these things clear in your mind, in a neutral space, first..

Good luck!

HappyWoman Thu 08-Oct-09 09:26:43

are you his career too? There is lots of support if you are his career.

Does he get in a strop because he cant understand why you are so upset when it is him that is ill.
I can imagine that if it was me that was ill i would want all the attention not anyone else - maybe he just cant understand why you are getting upset.
People do react differently to bad news and although he should be able to understand - he may not be there yet and at a different point to you in the process.

Norton Fri 09-Oct-09 08:40:10

He doesn't need caring for as such

When he is actually ill - I do all the cooking for him & drinks etc & help him to the bathroom but most of the time he is OK & can do most of the housework/school run etc

I organise his medication/appointments but only as this has never been his thing

I got in touch with young carers yesterday to get help for DD as she is struggling to

& my chat was a great help & DH didn't go off on one at all - I don't know if my mum has spoken to him but he seemed OK with it all (after being a pig on Wednesday)

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