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Technically i've won, but not the way i wanted to......

(23 Posts)
slimbo Mon 05-Oct-09 16:38:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth Mon 05-Oct-09 16:48:06

Few months from now he'll prob want contact with dd. It's not unusual at all,but they usually fancy playing happy families with the new woman and DC.

Avendesora Mon 05-Oct-09 16:50:25

so sorry.

Avendesora Mon 05-Oct-09 16:56:32

Could this be what you need to help you move on?

HappyWoman Mon 05-Oct-09 16:59:35

well he seems to have shown his true colours. - i dont think anything would have made him change his mind. He is being an arse because you took some control.

It is very sad but you could never have made him see the error of his ways and at least you can start anew.

Good luck.

abedelia Mon 05-Oct-09 17:11:08

Well, on his head be it. He will have to answer to your dd when she is old enough to ask questions / seek him out and that's his choice. I hope he is also going to cough up maintenance so that he has a monthly reminder of his obligations via a short, sharp blow to the wallet (all of which will be less for him and OW to enjoy, I might add).

janess404 Mon 05-Oct-09 21:31:41

anyone who neglects children in this way is losing out in a big way its his loss

6feetundertheGroundhogs Mon 05-Oct-09 23:07:57

God that must hurt, i feel so much for you.

I'm glad he has caved, it was the right thing to do. Agree that you would never have got him to open his eyes, but that's no poor reflection on you, it was his mistake, his failure. It is indeed his loss, one day he will see... but it could be too late.. His lookout.

In time you'll feel better, in time the wounds will heal.

Now you can get your own life stable, build yourself back up and focus on most important people in the world, You and your DD.

Wishing you all the very best of luck

slimbo Tue 06-Oct-09 08:03:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 08:19:16

oh, slimbo how fucking awful you must feel for you and your dd

I have no advice for you, but just wanted to send you some support

one day he will realise what he has binned, but by then you will have moved on and either be happy and settled in your unit of 2 girlies, or have found a lovely new bloke

macdoodle Tue 06-Oct-09 09:05:47

You ARE so much better without him, and your lovely little DD - believe me it took me a long time to realise this, and TBH I wish my XH would fuck off away from my DD's because he is bloody toxic to all of us!

I promise you it will be ok and you will be much much happier without this arse in your life - move on girl!

abedelia Tue 06-Oct-09 10:47:43

Sounds like he is in denial of what he is doing, hence the dehumanising of you. Your daughter won't hold it against you I am sure - you tried your best but it was his choice and she'll see that.

By the way - if I started to get involved with someone then found they never saw their child from a previous relationship, alarm bells would be sounding like there was a nuclear war coming! It won't act in his favour in any way, shape or form...

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 13:53:04

yeah but abedelia the fuckers always tell some cock 'n' bull story about the how the "psycho" ex-bitch wouldn't let him see his kids

twats

FABIsInTraining Tue 06-Oct-09 13:56:32

Kids can be fine without a dad as long as mum is there for the child and a good mum

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 14:02:45

So sorry for you and your DD.

I hope your ex grows a pair soon and faces up to his responsibilities.

itsmeolord Tue 06-Oct-09 14:07:24

Guilt is the reason he won't use your name/ have any communication with you.

He knows he has been a cunt, he can't tell you that because then that would make him realise exactly what a sordid mess his life is, so instead he will be irrationally angry with you.
Until a while later, when you will have moved on and will be extremely happy, whilst he will be depressed, lonely and skint.

slimbo Tue 06-Oct-09 18:53:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 18:56:15

what a shaaaame

I hope your own dc doesn't suffer because of it though

SolidGhoulBrass Tue 06-Oct-09 18:58:25

Horrible though it may seem now, there is some benefit to his having been such a dick. Because now you are free of any guilt over not trying hard enough, you can draw a line under him and move on. No matter HOW HARD you tried, it would not be enough, because this man didn't love you. It is not possible to make a person love you, or stay with you when that person doesn't want to, and once you stop trying, you start recovering.
Best of luck.

Sazisi Tue 06-Oct-09 19:04:08

Oh what a tosser he is angry

I'm so sorry for all you've been through.

Would you consider offering him visiting rights or whatever though your solicitor? That way he can't ever make out you've stopped him seeing dd. And you will know you've done everything you can (ignore me if this is a bad idea, or if you've already tried)

slimbo Tue 06-Oct-09 19:20:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScaryFucker Tue 06-Oct-09 19:22:02

absolute slimeball he is

my God, you are well rid

slimeoncrazydemon Tue 06-Oct-09 19:30:49

Message withdrawn

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