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DH of 7 years has left and I don't miss him at all! Is that weird?

(8 Posts)
BEAUTlFUL Sun 04-Oct-09 10:57:37

DH left me last week to live in a separate flat a few hundred yards away. He says he's been "unhappy ever since we moved in together" (2 weeks before we got married). I'm hmm at that because he never actually mentioned that unhapiness to me.

Anyway, we have sorted out money, access to the 2DC, and it's all quite amicable.

I'm not missing him at ALL! Is that odd? Will it all come welling up out of the blue in a few week's time? I'm really surprised by how happy, calm and content I am. it's a relief, not having to consider his feelings any more.

Does that mean I'm horribly selfish, in denial, or just bonkers? Shouldn't i be missing him?

sayithowitis Sun 04-Oct-09 11:33:21

I have never been in your situation, so I can't speak from experience, but I wonder if it means that somewhere inside, you were also aware that things weren't right and that what has happened is the right thing for you all? The fact that you say it's a relief, indicates to me that there was some tension, however subtle, and that now there is not.

I am sure there will be others with experience along soon to give you some thoughts.

Good luck. smile

simpson Sun 04-Oct-09 11:39:20

My DH (we were married 2yrs but lived together for 7) left in May and I have also been much happier TBH.

I think its because for me I kind of knew it was over in the last yr we were together so was inevitable iyswim.

We also have 2 small Dcs and think they are much happier now that I am smile

bettyboooooooooo Sun 04-Oct-09 11:46:39

BEAUTIFUL, I've been where you are and felt exactly the same.
I think you know when the decision is right. I am officially the most indecisive person ever but I just knew when it was over.
Don't get me wrong, I have had low times since (mainly because I'm sad for the family life I hoped DS would have) but I am a million times happier now.
My life is quiet and calm and most importantly, I am in control!
Good luck with everything, you are not selfish and you deserve to be happy smile

Anniegetyourgun Sun 04-Oct-09 11:48:34

If only all failed relationships could have such a civilised ending!

However, don't be surprised if you suddenly have an "oo-er" moment a few weeks or months down the line, and find yourself mysteriously crying your eyes out. It probably won't be you missing him, but mourning your old hopes for a future that never was etc. If it happens, it won't be anything to worry about - just a stage deferred that you are going through.

I doubt very much that you are bonkers. I also doubt that you'll have much opportunity to be selfish, with 2DC to look after.

BEAUTlFUL Sun 04-Oct-09 12:47:05

Thank you all so much!! I think the best boost is to my confidence. He just wasn't good enough, either to me or for me, and this has proved that forever. Plus, he made me "messy" inside, always doubting myself and second-guessing decisions. Now I feel so empowered!!

Thanks, you are so supportive!

bettyboooooooooo Sun 04-Oct-09 13:53:55

It's weird isn't it?- it's like the fog suddenly clears and you can see everything so much more clearly.
I actually quite like myself these days and thats because I'm not relying on anyone else to make me feel good! (not that ExH did!!!)
Well done BEAUTIFUL, enjoy getting to know yourself again. smile

sincitylover Sun 04-Oct-09 17:56:28

I split with h three years ago we were together for 15 yrs didn't miss him at all.

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