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Controlled ex partner

(5 Posts)
onedad Sat 03-Oct-09 12:23:20

Hi everyone just over 2 months ago my girlfriend split with me,and we have 2 children together,a week after splitting she started seeing her new man and since then have not been able to see my children.
She has sent me pictures,and still texts eratically when hes not around,he has no job has moved in after 1 month,and although i have payed a good level of maintainence,she has gone to the csa to try to get more money but has failed on that,she also left her job after a month of meeting him aswell,i have started court proceedings now,does this sound familliar to anyone.

mosschops30 Sat 03-Oct-09 12:24:37


are we missing something?

onedad Sat 03-Oct-09 12:33:31

threatning texts from him

Maggie34Behave Sat 03-Oct-09 20:55:59

well I left a very controlling man, so I know a bit about being controlled.

do you feel that she is being controlled? Or do you just find it unbearably painful to believe that she could be 'cool' with you not seeing the children?

I don't think she'd leave one relationship to go into a worse one ... so even if this relationshp she's in now doesn't last, don't go in all guns blazing.

The more my x did that, the more I was afraid of them and the more steps I took to protect myself. (NOT comparing you to my insane x).

She gave up her job and he has no job??? sounds bonkers.

SolidGhoulBrass Sat 03-Oct-09 21:54:20

Are you concerned that her new partner is controlling/abusive? Is there anyone you can talk to ie a mutual friend or relative? If she has taken up with an abuser, other people might be equally concerned.
How amicable was your split, though? If it was very unpleasant, she may currently be leaning on her new DP and he may be saying, well let's not bend over backwards to oblige Onedad (ie supporting her rather than being an actual arsehole). If this is the case then again maybe a neutral third party may be able to help, perhaps a counsellor of some kind or a mediator.

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