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We have slept in separate beds for the last 16 monthsm since baby was born. My head seems clear now, but think I have pushed him away what should I do

(3 Posts)
mmiower Sat 03-Oct-09 00:46:00

When our baby was born I ended up for a number of reasons sleeping in separate room to babies daddy. He snored a bit and it just seemed easier at the time. He was very put out about this. Would have tantrums sometimes, we had big arguments. I said some really bad things to him. Cant understand why he didnt just run. But he told me he loves me and couldnt leave me and baby. He would get me flowers and say he was sorry all the time. Even though I kept telling him I hated him.

But he stayed and our baby is 15 months old now and baby and I still sleeping in our bed, and he still sleeps in separate room. I do go into his bed for cuddles now and again.

Thing is recently he has started to stay away a lot working. Im getting worried I may have pushed him away to much.

Asked him the other day if he would like to sleep with me in same bed now, he said its been to long and use to being on his own and just walked away from me.

I think messed up the family and driven him away. I dont want to be a single mum. I do love him. What can I do. is it to late? Im so scared I have wrecked it all.

girlsyearapart Sat 03-Oct-09 07:43:56

Oh dear poor you.

Do you think you may have had PND?

Sounds like you were pushing him away and he was fighting to make you realise you were being bit irrational iyswim?

Do you ever go out together to do stuff without your dc? That could be good way to start over- or maybe a night away if you can manage it??

Or alternatively invite a visitor to stay in the spare room- that'll get your DH back in with you. grin

Unless you live in a mansion..

Tombliboobs Sat 03-Oct-09 08:11:43

Agree with girlsyearapart, try going out at first anbd doing the things you did as a couple pre-baby. You need to get back your role as partners as well as parents. The fact that you refer to your partner as 'babies daddy' suggests you have stopped seeing him as your partner and perhaps your role as mummy has taken too much out of you.

Your child is at a good age now and will be gaining more and more independence over the coming months, you can go out more - enjoy yourself together, the staying in the same room should hopefully, naturally follow on from a good evening out wink

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