Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ever wished you'd remained 'just friends'?

(7 Posts)
aRLcat Fri 02-Oct-09 10:08:27

There's someone I really like. I like him for a number of obvious reasons but I'm also extremely drawn to him in a way which is nothing short of magnetic.

We've known each other for a few months, we found each other extremely attractive at the outset and the more I come to know of him, the more I like.

It almost seems wrong not to let this develop into something more but the belief that a friendship is more likely to stand the test of time is something which is creating a boundary for me.

My last relationship ended horrifically a couple of years ago and I don't know if it's the thought of experiencing another such 'ending' that's holding me back! It does seem unreasonable to fear something that isn't yet even a remote reality.

So, I'd rather have him in my life as a good friend than risk blowing it by entering into a relationship that might fail however, it seems daft to prevent what could be a really good thing from happening on that basis!

Ugh, help!

hambler Fri 02-Oct-09 11:13:13

Is he making it clear he wants to move on to more than just friends?

SqueezyCheese Fri 02-Oct-09 11:27:56

You gotta be in it to win don't know till you try.

If it was a long term friendship of years, then it could be quite risky but since the friendship is only a few months old, I'd say it is worth the risk. Saying that I am married to my DH, who was my friend for about 12 years before we got together as a couple.

I say go for it but just take your time and don't sweat it too much.

Good luck smile

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 02-Oct-09 11:29:44

I understand what you mean after all you've never been in a relationship that didn't end wink but how will you ever find that person that deserves you forever if you are too scared to try it?

mumof2teenboys Fri 02-Oct-09 12:21:58

I'm in a relatoinship with my best friend, from my point of view, it has ruined the friendshipsad

He was always the person I turned to if something was wrong etc. Now I don't have that 'release valve'

I'm currently in a very bad place, don't know what to do for the best and there is no-one who understands me the way he does. But he is part of the problem right now.

So, yes, it would of been best if we had 'just' stayed friends.

cyteen Fri 02-Oct-09 12:24:15

I was friends with someone in the way you describe, liking him a lot and feeling magnetically drawn to him.

8 years later we have a gorgeous 1 year old son and are getting married next year so no, definitely glad we didn't stay just friends!

BonsoirAnna Fri 02-Oct-09 12:25:02

It sounds from your OP as if you are deeply in love with this man! In which case you are not "just friends" and are holding back from a relationship because you are frightened of getting hurt...

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: