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Do you phone DH at work when you are struggling?

(64 Posts)
roseability Wed 30-Sep-09 13:49:34

I will quite often phone my DH at work in tears because of some issue with the kids e.g. DS three playing up or DD 15 weeks not sleeping/crying

He is brilliant about it and I just feel I need someone to vent my frustrations at sometimes. I don't feel I am not coping over all but I do wonder if anyone else does this?

lilacclaire Wed 30-Sep-09 13:54:22

I don't, but then my ds is 4.
He probably understands your sleep deprived etc with your 15 week old and need to talk to someone, don't feel bad about it.

pasturesnew Wed 30-Sep-09 13:57:15

I am normally a FT WOHM and have done this plenty of times when work was not great, don't see why phoning from home about the work of being at home should be any different - doesn't mean you're not coping, actually it is a sensible coping strategy.

OrmIrian Wed 30-Sep-09 13:59:27

I think I might have done when on mat leave. But not often. Not much he could do when he was up some scaffolding 70 miles away grin

morningpaper Wed 30-Sep-09 13:59:32

Yes when they were tiny I did this rarely but occasionally

My lowest point was when I had to call him back from a meeting because I had a small x week-old with colic and a screaming 3 year old and I honestly thought I would kill one of them

Now they are 3 and 6 and everything's jolly

bigchris Wed 30-Sep-09 13:59:43

no
i wouldnt want dh worryingabout me at work and ruin his day
put the shoe on the other foot - you are having a bad day at home and he rings you to tell you about his shite day at work, would you like that?

roseability Wed 30-Sep-09 14:00:53

Thanks! I think my DH worries about me sometimes but it is just my way of coping. Sometimes when it all seems like the end of the world, talking to someone out of the madness brings a fresh perspective grin

Marne Wed 30-Sep-09 14:01:35

I try but its not often that he will come home. Dh also phones me to tell me he's having a shit day.

Lilyloo Wed 30-Sep-09 14:02:22

I sometimes text him and include how the dc's are within it but wouldn't phone him in case i disturbed him , unless it was an emergency.

southeastastra Wed 30-Sep-09 14:02:50

oh yes, if the kids are giving me a shit time, he can share it too!

roseability Wed 30-Sep-09 14:04:13

morningpaper - oh yes sounds familiar! My DH worked for a big firm when my DS was born. Once he had to come home and drive us both around the countryside! I have to laugh now at the thought of him driving through the hills of Scotland with a crying wife and 4 month old instead of being in an important meeting shock

roseability Wed 30-Sep-09 14:05:33

However it was either that or I did something I regretted to said 4 month old (didn't sleep at all and cried a lot) sad

comewhinewithme Wed 30-Sep-09 14:06:22

I begged him to stay at home today he wouldn't sad.
I also count down to the time he comes home as if everything will magically get better/calmer when he gets home though it never does.

nigglewiggle Wed 30-Sep-09 14:06:53

At a very low point when DD2 was a few weeks old and waking for a feed several times a night and DD1 was going through a waking at 5am phase, DH arranged to had to work in America for a week. I took to texting him every time I was woken up. I wanted someone to share my misery!

LadyOfTheFlowers Wed 30-Sep-09 14:07:59

I do this at times, not very often though.

If kids have reduced me to tears I will ring him, and he asks me to if I need.

He doesn't usually say much, as he can't really, just uhms and ahs in the right places then I feel better.

They are his children too. He will tell me about his shit day when he gets home, or if something really shit happen he will call me to tell me/vent.

We support each other if and when needs be. Just because he goes out to work and I stay and look after the kids doesn't mean we can help each other with an ear now and again.

BadPoet Wed 30-Sep-09 14:08:20

No, he's a teacher so I can't. I do the anguished text thing (or did, when they were smaller) but usually didn't send it.

roseability Wed 30-Sep-09 14:11:17

BadPoet - that is tough. I am lucky that my DH can usually answer the phone

bagpuss Wed 30-Sep-09 14:11:40

Not really now that they are older but I did phone in hysterics when I had accidently locked ds2 (19 months at the time) in the car in a supermarket car park blush.

FimboFortunaFeet Wed 30-Sep-09 14:11:53

Oh yes, I remember on one occasion both dd and ds were playing up, it was the school holidays and dh had not had time off and was working late every evening. it was about the time of the month too and I was feeling very emotional. I picked up the phone and just ranted at dh for about 1/2hr, lucky he managed to get himself into a meeting room, so no-one he works could hear me, as I was shouting down the phone.

Have only done it once.

spinspinsugar Wed 30-Sep-09 14:12:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonsoirAnna Wed 30-Sep-09 14:12:14

Absolutely never. I only ring DP at work in emergencies.

becstarlitsea Wed 30-Sep-09 14:13:24

I once texted DH while he was at work with 'Haven't throttled DS yet today and want props for my restraint' That's about as close as I get to offloading on him during a work day - it has to be something that will make him smile, if ruefully, not something that adds to his stress. DH doesn't really talk if he's at work anyway. And he can't come home early - he's very rarely home before DS is in bed. But now DS is 3 it's not a problem. It's so much harder with little babies.

nigglewiggle Wed 30-Sep-09 14:14:21

I think Ladyoftheflowers expressed it perfectly. If you have a good relationship they should understand the need to share!

WhatFreshHellIsThis Wed 30-Sep-09 14:15:40

Yes, and he rings me to moan about his day too, so it's all fair. Being at home with small children is very lonely sometimes, talking to another adult is sometimes all that's needed to help get some perspective.

Pollyanna Wed 30-Sep-09 14:15:48

at the end of the day I might have phoned him in desperation to see when he was coming home.

Otherwise I don't phone him with issues, but sometimes for a chat/to check to see if he has done things on his list (which he hasn't usually). He is pretty hard to get hold of though.

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