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Is an over-enthusiastic new man always dodgy?

(8 Posts)
AutomatedAlice Wed 30-Sep-09 07:48:16

Mumsnet has made me suspicious of my sister's new man sad. They only met a couple of weeks ago but they have spent every single possible waking moment together. He has bought her thoughtful presents, met her family (I'm meeting him this weekend) and other stuff I can't remember from our brief conversation. She is smitten and couldn't stop saying how 'nice' he is. Which seemed like an odd way to describe someone, like she was surprised by being treated so well - which kinda rang alarm bells.

I don't think of her as being vulnerable, but she has been single for a long time, and not happy about it.

She's about to leave the country for 6 months, so I'm not too worried about the relationship - if it can survive the separation then it's clearly the real thing. But I'm not sure I like the fact that MN and all its stories of awful controlling abusive men has got into my head so much that my reaction to hearing my sister so happy was to be suspicious of him.

So, am I right to be concerned, or should I stop reading the relationship threads and be happy for my sister?

aurynne Wed 30-Sep-09 07:56:17

For goodness sake, Alice, they've just been together for two weeks! If they clicked immediately, it is normal to spend some time glued to one another. I believe you're doing your head too much over a guy your sis just started dating.

GeekIsGood Wed 30-Sep-09 08:01:57

Every situation and person is different so you can't always apply the stuff on here about keen men being dodgy. OK they can be dodgy and it may be a worrying sign, but if it always was I'd better divorce my DH post haste. We spent every minute together straight away, he told me he was in love with me after two weeks (this was reciprocated!) and we were married within the year. We're still very happy 4 years on and he is one of the least controlling men I have ever met.

So what you say about them spending all their time together is not necessarily odd. However the buying of presents and things could be, it really depends on whether he's well off and that comes naturally to him maybe... you can't judge on that basis alone. Maybe he's fallen head over heels for her.

I would say reserve any judgement until you meet him and see them together, then talk to her afterwards if you have any real concerns.

BalloonSlayer Wed 30-Sep-09 08:13:03

Ahhhh, they're in luuuurve.


IME all new men are over-enthusiastic.


AutomatedAlice Wed 30-Sep-09 08:14:53

blush ok time to step away from the relationship threads grin

I almost posted in AIBU, but thought I'd probably get a pasting, so I guess I knew I was overreacting

AutomatedAlice Wed 30-Sep-09 08:17:16

yay for my lil' sis being in luuurve

MoonlightMcKenzie Wed 30-Sep-09 08:28:29

My DH was like that. He was just very very sure about me and a little inexperienced, i.e. hadn't had many girlfriends. His mum had also just left his dad for not treating her particularly well. I found it a little bit worrying at first, but in the end I married him because he was just lovely, - and still is.

BitOfFun Wed 30-Sep-09 08:31:22

If you asked people how long after meeting their DP's they moved in together etc, there will be plenty of replies along the lines of "Four hours, he never left, that was twenty years ago" etc. Relax!

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