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how to make friends...?

(4 Posts)
messymessymessy Tue 29-Sep-09 16:07:11

Mums - tell me what you like to talk about?

I am shy, gauche, frequently don't know what to say in conversation. The more so to mums of little kids, since after 3 miscarriages I kind of feel I should know what to say to these people since they're all my age and stage and we have stuff in common, except they've got kids and I haven't.... sad.

DH has introduced me to a really really lovely couple, he works with the husband, the wife is part time in a very very high flying job and part time pg/ home with 2 year old. These people are lovely, they seem to really like us, and I'd really like to be closer to them. But the conversation is always a bit stilted, because none of us is very gifted that way, and I'm especially awful.

Back in the days before hectic jobs and other people's kids, I'd get on relatively ok with people i knew well, being shy and inarticulate about books, politics etc. But none of us has any time at all to read or watch TV now - and friends don't do conversation about these things - it's either work or work for me and DH, or work or kids for everyone else. DH and the husband of this couple can talk about work, but they politely try to limit that in front of their wives. The wife in this couple can't really talk about her work, but I don't want to patronise her by only talking about her lovely little boy, since there's not a massive amount to talk about yet anyway!

How can I make myself a bit better at conversation with parents....?

cocolepew Tue 29-Sep-09 16:13:35

I talk about other people, not in a bad way, but "My friend did this/ my mum saw this" type of thing. If you don't know many people you steal threads from here and say" oh my friend was saying...". Don't overthinkit, if the other couple like you it will get better smile

messymessymessy Tue 29-Sep-09 16:19:51

thanks
i guess I should make more time to read stuff and thus have ideas of things to talk about just for the fun of talking. Because of my job/ my DH being equally busy, I just seem to go for months or years at a time without having a conversation that is actually not about work or the washing machine or something. blush

Avendesora Tue 29-Sep-09 16:23:43

I sometimes say 'I read on Mumsnet the internet that... and waffle on about pirate sex politics Have a topic prepared, Good luck!

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