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ok so kind of developed a sex phobia!

(18 Posts)
franfoxy2003 Sun 27-Sep-09 22:18:29


my dd was born 3 weeks ago and after a prolapsed cervix and cystocele (which have sorted themselves out i will add) i have kind of developed a sex phobia....

dunno why and ok dd is only 3 weeks old but i have healed ok but i kinda think that maybe everything will try and escape again (haha!!!!)

we tried taking it slowly last night but it just didnt work, i was far too tense!!!

am i being stupid???

Dumbledoresgirl Sun 27-Sep-09 22:21:34

Yes. Wait another 3 months.

cocolepew Sun 27-Sep-09 22:22:00

No! You're not stupid. 3 weeks is no time after having a baby.

Littlefish Sun 27-Sep-09 22:22:33

3 weeks is nothing!!!! Give your poor body a bit of time to recover.

BTW - congratulations on your dd smile

franfoxy2003 Sun 27-Sep-09 22:23:01

thanks guys, now i dont feel quite so stupid!

mrsboogie Sun 27-Sep-09 22:25:13

nooooo! its too soon. Give yourself a break. You are probably still a bit traumatised on some level - how on earth are you supposed to feel in the mood? 3 weeks is quite soon even if you had no problems.

I had a retained placenta which had to be manually extracted - it took a while for my brain to stop associating my nether regions with the rather ghastly images that left me with... hmm

Give it another month then try again.

scroobiuspirate Sun 27-Sep-09 22:28:38


omg woman, slow down. it might well all come out, and some, if you don't give yourself longer to fully heal.

franfoxy2003 Sun 27-Sep-09 22:33:46

scroobiuspirate...oh god now im panicking!!!! ok think i will wait and ask my doc at my 6 week check when its a good idea to try and try!

with my first i think we were at it by a week or so after...completely straight forward birth no complications and i felt ready! DH was the one who said no last night cos i was soooo tense! lovely DH!!!

AnyFucker Sun 27-Sep-09 22:34:53

yes, you are being stupid to try too soon

are you under pressure to put out ?

if so, tell him to cool his jets for at least 12 weeks!!!!

look it up on Google, the advice is to leave penetrative sex until fully healed

ladies who have had a normal delivery (without your complications) are advised to leave it about 6 weeks

I never understand why women feel they have to put themselves through this

LedodgyDailyMailstinksofpoo Sun 27-Sep-09 22:35:19

I always wait until after my 6 week check, well I always wait until much longer actually but that's what i've been told.

franfoxy2003 Sun 27-Sep-09 22:41:12

well i have never been told to wait 6 fact leaflet i had with ds said u can when u feel ready...and no dh isnt making me lol, infact he was the one who said stop!

scroobiuspirate Sun 27-Sep-09 23:03:46

vag of steel wink

AnyFucker Sun 27-Sep-09 23:50:23

fran, give yourself a break

are you that desperate ?

you don't have to do anything, love

and for your information, advice is to wait 6 weeks after a normal delivery

and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

it is madness to do what you are attempting

franfoxy2003 Mon 28-Sep-09 20:14:23

haha thanks, thought i was ok etc but obv not, will wait til i see my doc!

Adryath Mon 28-Sep-09 20:25:02

I think that perhaps some women are subconsciously under pressure to get the "business as usual" sign up again as soon as possible.

Actually, they may be putting themselves under that pressure because that's what they think their men want and/or expect of them, even if they don't...?

Perhaps they feel that if they don't get back to it again pronto they'll morph into some sort of mumsy, frumpy frigid type and their men will tire of waiting and go off looking for it elsewhere...?

I agree, it's ridiculous to be at it like rabbits when your body needs that vital time to repair itself. And it's crazy to be doing it when you've had a vaginal birth with complications - do you really want to do yourself some potentially lasting damage?

Aren't we supposed to be one step up from animals?

Calm your skin down and wait until you're ready to do it safely and in a way you'll both enjoy.

lou031205 Mon 28-Sep-09 20:32:28

Poor DH waited months. And that was without complications.

KormaNotReallyHereChameleon Mon 28-Sep-09 20:35:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinthWave Mon 28-Sep-09 20:39:00

You are doing very very well if your prolapse and cystocele have healed already - I had my DS 2 years ago and am still having problems!

Take your time, and it'll be 'back to normal' far quicker than if you rush

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