Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Practical advice needed for husband who behaves like a stroppy teenager

(6 Posts)
fruitstick Fri 25-Sep-09 21:39:58

Please don't post that he's an arse etc but I really need some practical advice on how to handle these situations.

I feel at the moment that the more I do, the more he expects me to do.

I am on maternity leave with DS2 at the moment so do all of the housework, which I don't object to.

DH does work hard and comes home, spends time with DS, usually cooks dinner, helps with washing up etc so it's not like he doesn't pull his weight.

I have always looked after all the paperwork and admin in the house, which is a hangover from when it was my flat and he paid me rent. We have had major house woes recently and I organised all of that, arrange all the house viewings, talk to all the estate agents etc. In theory, I don't mind as, if I'm honest, I'm a bit of a control freak so prefer to handle things myself.

The problem is that DH doesn't seem to take any of these things as his problems or responsibility. He strops and moans like I am asking huge things of him, rather than these being his things that I am helping him to sort out.

For example. We have been given notice on our rented house after 6 months so I have sorted out a new rental place (he begrudgingly agreed to see the one I had picked after work), arranged removal quotes, booked the removal people, have sorted out all of the bills etc, sorted out a childminder to look after DCs, am selling all DCs old things at NCT sale, sorting out things for car boot, putting things on ebay, cleaning house, repairing things so we can get our deposit back etc etc.

All I have asked him to do is get the boxes down from the loft (admittedly there are a lot of them) because the removal men can't do it for Insurance reasons as there is no fixed ladder. He has ranted and raved and said how much work it is, how busy he is, how hard it will be and so on. I have asked my nephew and mate to come round on his day off to do some of it and he is just complaining that he won't be able to do it all so he will be forced to do the rest of it.

It's his bloody stuff!

I seem to always be asking my family to do things for me because he won't - even though technically they are his chores.

I'm sorry, this is really long and now seems like an insignificant, trivial rant but it's Friday night, he's at the pub and I'm annoyed!

fruitstick Fri 25-Sep-09 21:45:08

I should add that the only house to buy that he has arranged to see off his own bat, is a grade II listed wreck that needs complete renovation.

I have tried pointing out that maybe he's not cut out for a Grand Design but he's having none of it.

purpleduck Fri 25-Sep-09 21:50:56

Stop asking others to do his work

seriously - it is shameful that he - a grown man - is ok with other people doing his work

shock

fruitstick Fri 25-Sep-09 22:19:42

Obviously you are right - it is shameful.

But it would never get done. I may just ask my nephew to bring boxes of things I want down.

But does not doing it actually work? Or does it just not get done.

mamas12 Fri 25-Sep-09 22:47:16

Can you not just carry on with your stuff and when the move comes he is still farting around and you will not be helping him.
His 'job' his responsibility. Stop mothering him.
sorry if that sounds harsh

lucky1979 Fri 25-Sep-09 22:53:29

Is it all his stuff, definitely?

Leave it up there.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now