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DH and i dont connect on any level...(but im broody)

(4 Posts)
nomorechoc Fri 25-Sep-09 09:42:36

we dont connect mentally, spiritually, intellectually, politically, sexually,....

just writing this makes me wonder why we are still together, HOWEVER we basically get on fine, and quite affectionate towards each other - plus have 2 young dc. If i'm honest, i guess one of the main reasons that we are still together is that i am v broody for another dc - is this bad? is my marriage a sham or not that unusual? - maybe i can find other things such as mental stimulation, empathy outside of my marriage with friends etc..? surely i am not the only person who has stayed within a less than perfect marriage because of the desire to have another child?

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 25-Sep-09 11:00:31

Why don't you connect any more; is there fault on both sides here?. Why has this total lack of communication come about, have you both grown apart over the years?.

You sound more like flatmates than husband and wife. Have you talked to your H, would he consider something like Relate (you could go on your own if he refuses to).

This is not a good situation at all to be wanting to bring another child into either. So you have another child by him. Yet another child would then be caught up in this misery that you're both in. Its not fair on the kid!.

What are you teaching your children about relationships here?. They're picking up on all the vibes and I feel its a mistake to stay for solely the sake of the children. Better to be apart and happier than together and miserable. It does the children no good at all to see their parents miserable even if they don't hear shouting and constant rows because they could end up feeling responsible.

beanie35 Fri 25-Sep-09 12:38:44

Think there are many people in relationships solely for the sake of the children, but Im not convinced that having more children in an unhappy relationship is a wise move. Why put another child through the upset of having parents that shouldn't really be together.

All the best whatever you decide to do.

lolapoppins Sat 26-Sep-09 18:06:47

Ditto (to the OP). You are not alone.

We have a 7 year old ds who is our world. We are like flatmates, friends, we even joke that we should never have married etc.

We would like another baby too, and will try at some point in the next year, although it's a standing joke that we will actually have to have sex to make one! Splitting up is just too difficult, financially, emotionally for ds I said we get on, so there isn't much point in splitting. Plus, I want another child at some point in my life.

It takes all sorts. If your marrige works for you, then go with it. I am sure the description of my marrige will have some people up in arms, but hey-ho.

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