Hi - First time on here so please excuse me if I don't abbreviate correctly! Have read a few other threads and think I could use some impartial advice from the wise (that's you btw).
Ok, I have two daughters (7 and 4) and separated from my husband 2.5 years ago. He was a rubbish husband (struggled with the monogamy element of marriage)but is a good dad. Since we split up he has always seen the girls every other weekend and for tea on a Wednesday (he lives very nearby). The arrangement suits us all: most importantly, the girls are happy and doing well at school, have lots of friends etc.
My partner of two years is wonderful and loves the girls and me very much. The four of us (me, him and the girls) have lived happily together for around nine months now. We go halves on everything to do with the house, bills, food etc. He is very generous with the girls in terms of time and money. All has been great until last Friday he told me that I need to make a decision about the future in terms of the girls seeing their dad and the amount of money he pays in maintenance, albeit in the heat of a minor argument about something else.
I am lucky enough to work from home so I can be around for the girls and earn fairly decent money, while my ex pays £200.00 a month (he earns £40K +). My partner said that if my ex paid the CSA's rate I would be able to work less and be around more : I work anti-social hours (8.30-midnight) to get my contracted hours done six nights a week, but with my youngest on full school days from Monday next week I will be able to work through the day and take evenings off so spend even more time with my partner. So really, we are on the cusp of being able to spend time together every night of the week once we put the girls to bed.
He said that the current arrangement with my ex is unfair to him, but since this has been the arrangement that has been in place since I met him and that he's never complained about before (and it works for all other parties) is it fair that he expects me to cut the girls' dad out?
I know what I think, but it's hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes.
Please be honest with me...would appreciate your opinions. Thanks!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Arrangements with Ex-husband upsetting new partner...
almostabutterfly · 24/09/2009 13:34
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.