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So... how long should someone be single/separated after marriage break before getting into a new relationship?

(13 Posts)
OrangeFish Sun 20-Sep-09 18:46:58

Just wondering, really.

IMO we can not say any time in particular, as every relationship ends and starts in a different way, but I have seen many threads recently where people are receiving not very nice comments about being together with someone after a relationship ends.

It is after divorce is completed? a year? 2 years? 6 months? as soon as is ok for both persons? or as my mother kind of said, never as you have to concentrate on your child?

Discuss?

colditz Sun 20-Sep-09 18:47:52

As long as you feel the need.

norksinmywaistband Sun 20-Sep-09 18:49:37

IMO any time after the relationship is over is ok before is not.

notevenamousie Sun 20-Sep-09 18:50:31

Somebody once said to me, 2 months for every year you were together, to emotionally heal. It has seemed a reasonable ball park to me.
It's so hard when you have children, too, I don't think there is a right answer, but it's hard to know when you are truly ready.

ginnny Sun 20-Sep-09 18:50:43

I would say whenever you feel ready, there is no set timeframe. It took me 3 years before I even wanted another man as I was so busy with the dc and I kind of forgot about that side of things for a while.
Your mum is wrong imo, you can't concentrate on a child and forget about your own life, after all, children grow up and leave home eventually.

OrangeFish Sun 20-Sep-09 18:51:21

Which then brings the point of when is a relationship over?

thesouthsbelle Sun 20-Sep-09 18:51:45

I waited about 6 months, but wasn't ready at all, met XP about 3 months later & again jumped straight in - wasn't good. it's only now I can look at XH and know i'm truly over him and have moved on. so lets hope any new squeezes work better.

Ivykaty44 Sun 20-Sep-09 18:52:51

I waited until after I had given birth smile and then when baby was 5 months old was dating someone I had meet and been chatting to for a good two months before we dated - so by that time t was 13 months.

colditz Sun 20-Sep-09 19:03:17

A relationship is over when one person involved has decided it is over and informed the other person.

ElfOnTheTopShelf Sun 20-Sep-09 19:13:17

I have always heard the idea of a year, but its really up to you when you feel comfortable

OrangeFish Sun 20-Sep-09 19:13:20

Exactly my thoughts but, it seems that for some people a relationship is not over until a divorce is completed.

Ex has been living with someone for more than half a year now and our divorce is still months from being finalised even when the marriage was over years ago.

For me he has moved on with his life and has new partner, thank you very much, but even if I don't care he is in that relationship (actually, I welcome it), and he doesn't seem to get particularly annoyed at me being in one, sometimes I get comments that make me feel as if we were doing something totally out of order. Not that I agree with them, but I wanted to know what was the consensus.

panicpants Sun 20-Sep-09 19:18:53

Well, I split with ex dh (my choice, so was not emotionally hurt) and met ds 2 months later. By the time the divorce came through (a year and a half later - ex dh was being very difficult) I was 8 months pregnant...so I'm probably not the person to ask tbh.

panicpants Sun 20-Sep-09 19:42:00

That should be met dh btw!

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