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really upset with dh, perhaps i am over reacting, it is probaby very common but how can i rationalise this?

(15 Posts)
TheThlotPlickens Sun 20-Sep-09 10:49:23

we went out last night and he kept disappearing. we were watchign a parade and although it passed by 3 times he was only with me on one occasion.
he "went for a walk" on one occasion.
the next time he "went to make a roll up and phone call".

i followed him, perhaps the green eyed monster, but he ended up watching parade further up with a woman, she was chatting away to him , she had an almost empty bottle with her.

i know he wouldnt be unfaithful but am i getting this all out of proportion and shoudl let him have a "longer leash?".
i feel he shoudl be with me, and our dd, friends, not good friends, but friends, were there too so we were not alone but i am so unhappy that he felt he had to keep disappearing and when i found him chatting away to this woman i was near to tears.

LuluMamaaaaarrrrr Sun 20-Sep-09 10:51:37

is it someone you know? is she a friend from work?

at the least it is rude to go out with your wife, and then disappear off to spend time with someone else.

have you asked him about her?

have you told him you were upset?

CybilLiberty Sun 20-Sep-09 10:51:40

If my dh followed me when I went for a walk whislt watching a (probably boring!) parade I would be livid.

Either you trust your partner or you don't. Does he have to be by your side all the time? Has he played away before?TBH It sounds like you are putting 2 and 2 together and making 6

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Sun 20-Sep-09 10:54:30

Message withdrawn

CybilLiberty Sun 20-Sep-09 10:56:07

How do you know it wasn't just an innocent chat with a woman who happened to be standing next to him?

TheThlotPlickens Sun 20-Sep-09 10:57:01

thanks- i think it is pretty rude and unfriendly as well.
he didnt know the woman no, he just met her,
as it was the second occasion he had scarpered i went to look for him and was so shocked to find him like this.

he says i behave like this, but wont elaborate, i talk to men, i talk to men i know, dads of our dc's friends, i obviously talk to strangers but wouldnt desert my family to do so.

TheThlotPlickens Sun 20-Sep-09 10:57:57

the parade wasnt boring, i don't think, well our dd was in it mainly.
but why not come back to where i was standing?

LuluMamaaaaarrrrr Sun 20-Sep-09 10:58:16

i think he is being rude and disrespectful.. maybe he was bored and wandered off and ended up chatting to someone, which is bloody rude, he needs to acknowledge that he has hurt you and needs to show more respect to you

RealityIsNOTDetoxing Sun 20-Sep-09 10:59:59

Message withdrawn

TheThlotPlickens Sun 20-Sep-09 11:08:24

i was doubting myself, as you do.
he knows how upset i am.
i am veyr sad about this, but do feel better to have written it down.

CybilLiberty Sun 20-Sep-09 11:19:32

He said where he was going. I wuld not be at all bothered if my dh went for a walk while we were out, we are not mannacled together. But then I trust him. I suppose we all have different notions of what is rude and what is not.

TheThlotPlickens Sun 20-Sep-09 12:20:11

but he said he was making a phone call, which he didnt, and making a rolly, which he proceded to smoke

diddl Sun 20-Sep-09 13:40:49

If it was an innocent chat, why not come back & say sorry I was so long, bumped into XXXX.

I´d be well p!ssed off if we´d gone out together and he kept clearing off-for no good reason.

Phone call and a fag FFS-can´t they wait??!!

macdoodle Sun 20-Sep-09 14:20:05

The main problem (well one of them) that I had with XH was his that he just didnt want to spend time with me...he used to do this ...its rude and disrespectful and makes you feel like a steaming pile of turd who isnt worth his time or effort
Sorry OP I wouldnt like this either, is it just this time or is he like this usually/a lot??

GrendelsMum Sun 20-Sep-09 22:01:24

I think there's minor faults on both sides. Frankly, I wouldn't care two hoots if DH buggered off during a parade and got chatting to an attractive woman, but I would want him to be honest afterwards and explain why he didn't want to watch it with me. And if he said 'because it was really dull and your friends are equally boring', I'd probably say 'fair enough'. I don't think it's particularly rude, if your DW is with a group of friends at an event, to go off and have a bit of a break.

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