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dating advice please

(19 Posts)
notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 15:09:57

quick question for you all....

Ive been in contact with 2 guys from a dating site both have my numbers, one texts about once every 4 days or so, and we had arranged a date for tonight.... ( have been busy for a few weeks
the other texts, maybe every 3 days, asks me how my day went, giong on about how much he is looking fwd to meeting me... last heard from him wed, when he sent me an email... again, ending with how much he was looking fwd to sat.

Now, ive not heard from either of them. First guy, i was meant to be seeing tonight.. tbh, even if he texts me now, there is no way i am going to meet him.... ( or am i out of order??)

second guy... when should i expect him to contact me? im not going to text him, i figure he said he was taking me out, and we agreed a date, but no time or venue.... i thinking if ihe doesnt contact me by first thing tomorrow then i wont go....

or do you think they have both decided they dont want to go? tbh , im kind of not fussed as ive had a busy week and fancy lying on the sofa eating malteasers! LOL

randomtask Fri 18-Sep-09 15:13:49

I'd go if I'd been given more than 12 hours notice (and really wanted to go) but TBH, if you're not that interested anyway and they're not making that much effort (or do they in their 'man type way' think they've arranged it?), I'd be inclined to cosy up with the chocolates....

humblemum Fri 18-Sep-09 15:14:27

TBH I would have expected more txts than every 3 or 4 days!! I suspect you wont hear from either of them, or they will contact you with excuses. I would move on to the next one, and there will be one, believe me!

echofalls Fri 18-Sep-09 15:16:09

but you have a date arranged have your not? on Saturday...maybe the finer points haven't been made but in his mind he has made an arrangement. Why dont you text him asking if your still on for Sat?

purplepeony Fri 18-Sep-09 15:16:28

I'm confused- did Mr A arrange a date 2night with you and he hasn't followed through with the actual plans?

If so, I think I'd be tempted to leave it, or text and say "Is it still on for 2night?"

Has Mr B arranged to see you Saturday?

In either case, if they have arranged a date thennto bothered to make it definite, I'd just think they are not interested and have had 2nd thoughts- and are too sodding scared to say so!

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 15:20:59

yeah - both of them have arranged dates, def said to first guy i would see him tonight... 2nd one has said sat.
I was wondering if it was just crap blokeness, and ill get a text later.... im def not going ut tonight... i cant be bothered.
But id be really surprised if 2nd one doesnt text me with details....

I dont want to text either of them, because i think that if they cant be bothered to let me know where and what time to meet me, they are hardly going to be good boyfriend material are they.. and maybe they just arent interested?

oh well....

AnAuntieNotAMum Fri 18-Sep-09 15:28:32

I'm rather confused by your post as to who agreed what, where and when but overall I'd cut people slack on the first date, unless they're experienced net daters they might be finding the whole idea a bit nerve-wracking. Men get nervous and are scared of rejection too. If flaky behaviour continued to the second date, then I wouldn't be so understanding.

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 15:33:43

guy 1, we both agreeded to meet this friday. Didnt say what time or when, he said he would get back to me and let me know, i last heard from him monday....

Am thinking maybe he has changed his mind?

Bloke 2, we both agreed to meet sat evening... no firm time or venue. We were meant to meet up two weeks ago, but something came up and i had to cancel. He did give me time and venue then... He was really nice about it and either texts me or emails me everyother day.....

i dont know, i guess ill just wait and see what happens....

purplepeony Fri 18-Sep-09 15:36:41

I'd forget about guy 1 and focus on guy 2- and maybe text him today to ask if all is on for tomorrow- and guy 1 i'd leave alone as it really is too late to make a date for 2night if he hasn't followed up by now.

Nancy66 Fri 18-Sep-09 15:37:14

so you've never actually met either of these guys yet?

I think it's a bit daft to start getting stroppy and giving them deadlines before you've even met.

Just text them both and say 'are we still on?'

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 15:46:10

nancy - no ive not met either of them, they are both from dating websites.

I dont think im being stroppy about it, but i sort of think if im meant to be meeting guy 1 later today, its almost 4pm already... surely its only decent to have told me when and where?
Im only pleased that i hadnt organised babysitters and stuff and DD is with her dad,or i would be annoyed then.

purple, yeah i think i shall totally forget guy 1 and see if guy 2 texts me... if ive not heard from him later tis evening, ill text him to see if its still on...

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 15:57:42

lol- just had text from guy 1.....

purplepeony Fri 18-Sep-09 16:01:04

bloody men- do they not know u have to wash your hair?

echofalls Fri 18-Sep-09 16:01:15

smile enjoy

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 16:04:39

lol - i expect that they have no idea how long it takes to get ready etc.....
in any case, im still not going tonight, ive told him that ive made other plans because i hadnt heard from him, he said thats ok and we can do it another time.... ???

just waiting for guy 2 now

colditz Fri 18-Sep-09 16:06:03

I think it depends what you want from a man.

After many years, I don't put up with "Bloke crapness" anymore, and I'm willing to put up with a certain amount of neuroticism in exchange.

If I don't get a text back to every one I send, they're out.

If they don't make firm arrangements with time, date and venue and dress code at least 24 hours in advance - they're out.

If they have a general "When I feel like it" approach - they're out.

Because basically, those sorts of blokes are fine, but they drive me fucking nuts. I don't want to have a relationship with a man who does that regardless of how awesome he is in other respects.

Thankfully, I now have a Proper Boyfriend [tm] and don't have to have such arse ache.

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 17:23:14

lol - text from second guy

notaslut Fri 18-Sep-09 17:26:50

with time and venue.....

queenofdenial2009 Fri 18-Sep-09 20:26:08

TBH I'd forget the date element. If these were friends what would you do? If it was a friend I really wanted to see and knew was a bit flaky, I'd text. Otherwise I wouldn't bother and eat maltesers.

Chocolate is better than bloke 1, personally the jury is out on bloke 2. My internet date from yesterday (and really rather nice he was to) made time, place etc. arrangements nearly a week in advance.

We got on great and then when I got on the bus, he shook my hand and said 'I'll be in touch'. I'm putting that down to crap blokeness.

Let us know the outcome (vicarious social life as she sits on the sofa on yet another Friday night).

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