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Questions about women's aid

(8 Posts)
FlamingoBingo Wed 16-Sep-09 20:17:26

Ok, need to try to write this as vaguely as possible for obvious reasons!

A woman trying to leave her abusive, alcoholic DH with her children. I don't know how it works. She's asked for a refuge/safe house/whatever they're called near some of her family. She's got somewhere 2hr away, which is still closer than she is now. She'd like to end up near her family, though, and is worried about the disruption to her already disrupted children from changing schools repeatedly.

What can she do? What can her family do? What happens next? How do women in this situation get 'rehabilitated', for want of a better word?

GypsyMoth Wed 16-Sep-09 20:20:56

well i did,with 4 dc. suppose the answer for me was lots of help.

but really,giving her the tools to do it and some support would be great!!

Alambil Wed 16-Sep-09 20:22:09

everyone gets rehomed - it just takes time (and perhaps counselling for longer-term mental health repair)

she should take the 2hr away hostel, and she can then see from where she's in safety if the local-to-family council do rent bond schemes or there's a space in another hostel

The priority is safety - she needs to get out with the kids in one piece and the kids can be given suitable knowledge of why they're moving a couple of times

but it will only be a couple of times, then once they're in permanent housing, life will settle down and they can start the road to recovery - they may also need counselling which WA will be able to discuss during her time with them (and after)

LuluMaman Wed 16-Sep-09 20:22:41

did your name used to be s*b***?

or am i wrong?

if i am ,just ignore me....

and i think feeling safe, secure near family is going to be less disruptive in the long run

Mamazon Wed 16-Sep-09 20:23:31

she will be placed in a refuge as close to where she has asked for as possible.
sadly there aren't as many refuges as we'd like so they don't have them in every town. they are also in high demand.

she will be able to stay at the refuge for 6 months. during this time she will be helped to aplly to any borough as homeless. she can apply for housing at as many boroughs as she likes but she can only apply as homeless to one - presumably the one she would most likely want to live in.

they will be aware that she has 6 months in order to find somewhere to live.
at the end of the 6 months (if not before) the council will either offer her a permentant home or a more stable temporary solution.

whilst at teh refuge her Dc's will be able to enrole in a local school if she wishes.

Yes it is disruptive to the children but on the whole they see it as a bit of an adventure. children are far more adaptable than we give them credit for. and ultimately this will be better for them in teh logn run.

Tell her not to be frightened. this is by far the hardest bit but things will get better almost as soon as she walks through that refuge door.

and tell her well done for having the strength to get this far.

GypsyMoth Wed 16-Sep-09 20:26:43

i'm 5 years is good. but i had no family for support,so your friend is very lucky. the kids will adapt and adjust.
mine went to a school which was mainly muslim pupils. it was a great thing for them. they were wary at first,not sure about the change etc,but made some great friends,and learnt alot about another culture.

now living in a little village with no other ethnic groups,they have learnt how NOT to be rascist. (don't think i'm putting this well,but trying to get across that they have taken something positive from the experience)

FlamingoBingo Wed 16-Sep-09 20:33:54

Thank you. I haven't namechanged. It's not me and it's not anyone close to me.

You've all been really helpful.

LuluMaman Wed 16-Sep-09 20:37:36

ok smile

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