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Why do I care so much about this person's opinion?

(4 Posts)
CareTooMuch Wed 16-Sep-09 13:41:24

I'm hoping someone can help me with my thoughts because I don't know why I think the way I do about this person.

He is my fitness instructor. Not really a friend, don't know him well enough. He is married with kids.

He shouldn't be anything to me other than my fitness instructor but I find myself thinking about him ALL THE TIME. I constantly worry about his opinion:

"If I wear this top and I bump into 'dave', what will he think?"

"If 'Dave' finds out I've moved in with my partner, what will he say?"

"If I don't go to the gym party, what will Dave think?"

etc etc

It's like I care more about his opinion than anything else and I don't know why. When I question myself I realise i'm being ridicuous and he probably couldn't give a shit about anything I do but I still worry everytime I do anything about what Dave would think.

I don't know if I'm attracted to him, I don't think I am. I just don't know why I care so much.

CrackWhoretoPaulDacre Wed 16-Sep-09 13:43:44

You have a crush on him. It really is as simple as that. That you say you don't even know him that well speaks volumes.

Try not to worry about it - these things happen, and next year you'll cringe whenever you think about it - but it will pass - honest!

CrackWhoretoPaulDacre Wed 16-Sep-09 13:51:02

Another question - have you been training with him for a while? Are you changing your body significantly? Because it could also be a transference-type thing, that doctors and therapists have to be wary of. This guy's helping you change your life and feel better, and so he becomes more important than he should be to you.

Just don't beat yourself up about it!

AnyFucker Wed 16-Sep-09 14:00:51

yep, mahoosive crush

just wait it out, or change instructors

take care you don't do anything silly though

I am sure gym instructors are fair game for desperate housewives and you may end up looking rather silly if he realises what you are up to grin

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