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any tips for coping with missing someone desperately?

(8 Posts)
commeuneimage Sun 13-Sep-09 18:15:26

Love him, want him, can't have him at the moment as he's away a lot.

I miss him so much it hurts, both physically and emotionally. My tactics really boil down to keeping frantically busy to try to keep my mind off it. It's exhausting. Does anyone have any other suggestions?

mrsboogie Sun 13-Sep-09 18:57:03

Are you a couple? can't you join him? I don't think I could be away from my DP like that. I was only thinking yesterday I don't know how those women who are married to soldiers serving overseas can bear it, I don't think I could.

HappyWoman Sun 13-Sep-09 19:03:46

me neither - surely love should be lovely.
Is there any way you can make more time for each other?

Does he know how you feel - does he feel the same?

dancingqueeen Sun 13-Sep-09 19:06:49

hi, my dh used to go away a lot, I remember how painful it was.

Keeping busy really helps, I know, but I also agree that it can be exhausting. I think it can help to encourage friends to visit you etc, rather than always planning trips out. also, getting lost in a really good book or film helped me pass a few hours. It is just hard though, will there be an end in sight? With me it got a lot easier when I knew when we were going to finally be able to live together pretty much all the time within a year etc

the plus side is that living like this has helped me learn to enjoy my own company, and enabled me to develop lots of close friendships and enjoy some of the upsides of the single life (like being able to be spontaneous, and watching girly films), but it was easier for me to see the plus side once I knew that it wouldn't be forever

hopefully some more people will come along wiht suggestions!

commeuneimage Sun 13-Sep-09 20:49:50

I can't join him, at the moment. I think you're right, dancingqueen - it's worse because there's no end in sight. But I like your positive spin on it, enjoying some of the aspects of being on my own which you describe, and I hadn't really thought about distracting myself without having to be out all the time with books etc - that is a good idea.

Does it get easier as you get used to separation or more difficult as time goes on?

cookielove Sun 13-Sep-09 21:00:18

when i first started my relationship, with current dp the first year and a half was long distance we saw each other every couple months and it was good to look forward to that time but the months between were horrible, plus he can't drive and lived 6 hours away. Some nights all i did was cry i missed him so much, but i got through or we got through it, and i think we are stronger for it cause it we know what it is like tobe without each other.

Distraction was a big thing, i went out alot with mates, cinema and meals e.t.c Although i don't think it gets easier because i still missed him you learn to cope with it better does that help?

Celery Sun 13-Sep-09 21:03:30

Write it all down, either in letters to him, or in a private journal. Helps me sort my thoughts out, get them out of my system, feel better about situations.

cookielove Sun 13-Sep-09 21:05:38

oh yeah we wrote loads of letters to each other as well i start mine at the begining of the week and finish it at the end it would be full of doodles and different coloured pen, i got a few from him when he had been drunk writing them it kept me amused.

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