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Nothing has happened but I find myself questioning everything

(5 Posts)
WeedsAndInfidelities Sat 12-Sep-09 14:08:22

Namechanged in case family look really

I don't even know what to write - my relationship is fine, DP is very committed and a great father to our one DS, there are no big issues and we tick along nicely

but having made the decision to get married I am now suddenly thinking 'is this it?'

I have even told my DP but he brushes me off and says we are happy and marriage is something to keep working at for life, to keep building on things like love and trust

not that I don't love and trust him already - oh I don't know.

I have been alone with DS all week and then it gets to the weekend and I am irritable and think, would this be easier on my own? Which I know is naive. I know it is.

Is this normal? To go through this at this time? I can go from thinking I would love to get married, to thinking is that just a step closer to getting divorced!?

SheWillBeLoved Sat 12-Sep-09 14:18:41

To me, you just sound scared of marriage ruining what is already a good relationship.

Stop being stupid, get married, and keep on working a your relationship and don't take anything for granted - you'll be fine wink

SheWillBeLoved Sat 12-Sep-09 14:18:57

* at

SerenityX Sat 12-Sep-09 23:12:54

Might be just settling down. People get married because they want to live differently and commit to one person. Yes this is 'it' to a large extent.

You are with the man you chose and these are your kid(s). It is easier on your own to figure out who you are and take action but it can be done as a couple but only if you work together and have the shared dream.

I divorced my husband because he was resentful of my sucess and kept trying to hold me back. He was constantly trying to sabatoge me. He even called me a snob for reading books. I read New Scientist regualarily - I love the articles but he made comments like 'you only read it to feel superior'. Even food became a hot topic - if I bought a nice bottle of wine that was snobby. What became clear was how small his world was.

His world was so small it didn't include broccoli, asparagus, travel beyond IBIZA!, people with jobs better than his and in fact anything that people had or did differently.

What I also realised was that this wasn't the world I wanted to bring kids into.

It doesn't matter what you do or how much money you have as long as you are rich in possibilities.

Jenice Sat 12-Sep-09 23:23:25

How weird weeds..... I feel very similar to you but didn't know what to post.. I too have a DS and myself and DP are getting married next year and since about a week after we got engaged I've had the same feelings as you. The "what ifs" and "is this it". I however have not voiced my feelings to DP and don't know wether I should.

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