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Help us find time for sex please

(31 Posts)
handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 13:36:22

Now the DCs are older, it seems so hard to find time just us.

DH is an owl and I am a lark.

I get up at 6.30am, get ready for work, DCs up at 7, breakfast, DCs get ready while I do a bit of housework and chivvy them along. Somewhere along the way DH gets up and ready. We're all out of the house by 8.30am.

Evenings DCs and I home 5pm, kids play, bath or shower DCs, housework, evening meal at 7, homework, DCs in bed and asleep by 9.15. DH sometimes eats with us, often home late and eats alone while I am finishing stories.

After 9.15pm I am so tired that if I sit still for more than 10 minutes I nod off. DH clears up kitchen and other chores, I do laundry, paperwork, advance cooking or MN while he does that. He can't relax until his chores are done.

Saturday and Sunday DCs wake up about 7 and play together usually nicely but sometimes bursting into our room. I am usually less tired at 9.15pm and we do something together so this seems to be the only window for sex which is so depressing and pre-kids I swore it would never just be Sat nights.

It was so much easier when children were in bed by 7.30pm.

Any ideas

MovingOutOfBlighty Fri 11-Sep-09 13:39:22

Good article on this in Red this month.!

haventsleptforayear Fri 11-Sep-09 13:40:49

Weekend afternoons.

We are big fans of a "rest" after lunch.

Now that the DS don't sleep anymore, DVD on (pick a long one) and then we go upstairs...

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 13:40:50

What did it say?

MovingOutOfBlighty Fri 11-Sep-09 13:44:47

It was about how the sex life had fizzled and her various ways of getting back her mojo! Not too many fantastic tips, but was good to see most of our problems in print.

Pretty much the best tip was choose three nights where you ALWAYS have sex and stick to it. It means that you can, ahem, relax and be off duty on the other 4 nights of the week if you are too knackered to really make the effort. She acknowledged it is a bit 'saturday night special' but it seemed to work.

morningpaper Fri 11-Sep-09 13:45:56

<shudder> at the foxes

They are TERRIFYING in the night

Like someone is being slowly tortured to death

morningpaper Fri 11-Sep-09 13:46:21

<turns thread upside down>

How did THIS thread get here? I'm sure this was chat about foxes

MovingOutOfBlighty Fri 11-Sep-09 13:46:35

Eh Morning!!!!!

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 13:47:01

haventsleptforayear, hadn't considered that will suggest to DH.

morningpaper Fri 11-Sep-09 13:47:04

ERmm wrong window

I must get some work done

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 13:50:27

Moving, that would be a real turn off for me.
I like to be surprised, and it turns me on to have a nice surprise in store for DH.

doggiesayswoof Fri 11-Sep-09 13:51:56

lol mp

We would (and do) have quick sex after DC are asleep then get up again to do chores. Granted this is normally about 8pm with us so a bit easier.

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 14:02:54

Just realised that after lunch on weekends people likely to pop round.

Doggie, I like your idea. I would fall asleep for good if we had sex at 9.30pm but DH could get up again and do ALL the chores grin

SheWillBeLoved Fri 11-Sep-09 14:06:20

Get a slow cooker, put your evening meal in it before you leave in the morning, have dinner at 6 instead of 7 - get everything else done an hour early, voilà wink

MovingOutOfBlighty Fri 11-Sep-09 14:08:43

I think perhaps the article was more then for folk who has just got in a rut and can't be arsed anymore! The whole 'if you have sex you will want more etc' kick start. If you like surprises then definitely think that doesn't sound like you!

Radox123 Fri 11-Sep-09 14:19:50

Learn the art of a quicky! Seriously good sexing doesn't have to take ages, especially if you're both knackered. I've spent the day teasing himself by text, when I get in, when kids are sorted and playing, I fully expect a quicky upstairs with the door open so we can hear the kids.

Won't take long and it makes you smile for the rest of the evening! Yum.

Radox123 Fri 11-Sep-09 14:20:31

Plus you don't even have to undress. It's like you're a teenager again!

SueMunch Fri 11-Sep-09 14:50:15

We have done it in the bathroom a few times as the kids are used to the door being locked!

We makes sure that we can hear them and put a film on for them to keep them occupied.

Not ideal but very fruity!

BettySuarez Fri 11-Sep-09 16:09:31

It is a problem I agree, especially when the children get older and tend to read in bed quite late at night.

DH often comes home for lunch wink

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 16:14:49


No mobile phone and if I had one I wouldn't be able to look at it at work. I'm on front desk and handbag in back room. Also I would never trust DCs to play long enough without wanting help, to show us something or fighting to attempt sex without a DVD on.

Bathroom with door locked is a good idea.

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 16:17:07

Lunchtime no good, we work in different directions so about 1hr drive apart and we have different lunch hours.

BettySuarez Fri 11-Sep-09 16:25:34

You have time to get on Mumsnet in the evening? Could you not mumsnet (ahem) in bed and let him help himself?

Multi tasking?

I'll get my coat.....

Radox123 Fri 11-Sep-09 16:29:28

Don't be pessamistic! Just pop a DVD in the machine, go upstairs, have fast furious sex, adjust your clothes, go downstairs.
I've given DH the blowjob of his lfe behind the kitchen door when the kids were happily eating breakfast and watching cartoons one saturday morning. He repayed me later!

Be positive, be inventive, and just go fer it!

BettySuarez Fri 11-Sep-09 16:33:10

Radox - you minx grin

But yes I agree, like everything else in life as a parent. You do have to become quite inventive.

handbagofoblivion Fri 11-Sep-09 16:48:24

Sorry, I didn't mean to be pessamistic. I have said earlier on the thread that we will try the DVD thing.

But I really can't imagine the children playing happily (without a screen to hypnotise them) while we're at it. I would be too stressed about the fact that they might come to find us.

Betty, I find it quite freaky to think that there are people mning and having sex at the same time.

Besides, rarely MN when DH is around.

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