well make sure you're sat comfortably..!
I met him online and got groomed, is the only way I can explain it ... so after my a-levels I left home to move in with him in the uhhhhhh, let me think - september (300 miles away!) and it started almost immediately...
I got the "if you loved me, you'd...." and ended up being bullied into sleeping with him by October that same year...
The things he called me were horrific, but it started very subtly - I can't honestly remember a lot of it because i've put a mental block on it, but it was viscious.
I fell pregnant in the january the following year (so 3m from meeting him) and found out half way through the pregnancy that he'd taken the condom off to trap me... yes, those words from his mouth. Nice, eh? still, it wasn't so bad, right - we were engaged and married in the May and it was only a few harsh words so hey, i'll stick it out and change him
Anyway, DS came along that October, so now 1yr after meeting, and things got a LOT worse. He came with me to every post-natal appointment, especially the ones where they do the pnd exam etc and answered for me - the doc let him, strangely, but where we were is very much in the dark ages (ie women = slave).... anyway, we moved back to near my family and the abuse got worse - he'd force me to have sex and do stuff to him and he'd do stuff to me and his verbal abuse escallated behind closed doors.
My parents knew something was wrong when one day I was upstairs in the bedroom with him, he'd come home from work at 2am absolutely tanked up and started saying he was taking DS back to his homeland and I wouldn't see him cos I was unfit, mental, unstable etc - the usual - we were living with my parents so I just screamed and my mum ran in ... she told him he'd meet his demise long before me (and meant it) and he shut up for that night, but still I stayed
we went into a council hostel waiting for housing and one night he tried to throw me out of the car (at 70mph) to drive off with ds... I stayed in the car, waited for him to park, he punched me, i grabbed ds, hid and rang my parents who came to get me - the next day he was gone, home....
it was a lot more dramatic than that but I can't remember a lot of it
i remember he locked me in the house one day without a means to escape or call for help (took mobile and landline with him) saying I was unfit and would let ds pram go under a bus so not safe to be out on my own or something.....
he'd come home from work and let rip, he'd do the things I pointed out on your other thread... just totally hammering me from all sides (other than physical til the night i left - that was the last straw)
so, I left and here we are, 6 years down the line....
if you want any more details, please let me know (not sure how much makes sense) and ill do my best to fill in ... but as I said - I don't know what's happened but i actually physically can not remember some stuff - esp about dS's early development... I've no idea when he smiled, sat, weaned etc... none of the milestones