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HELP - Need advice

(12 Posts)
666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:18:34

An old flame got in touch yesterday, and wants to meet for a drink. It would be good to see him as he's a really nice bloke, but the thing is, I know he is interested in resurrecting waht we had in the past (which wasn't much, tbh, just sex!) However, I am happily settled with dp and ds, and have no interest in any kind of affair and secrecy. I would like to keep this guy as a friend, and would like to meet him to catch up on gossip, as we have a lot of mutual friends. DP knows he got in touch, but i just told him he is an "old friend." How do I tell this bloke I have no interest in him sexually etc, without pissing him off? Should I meet him at all?


(Btw, I have changed my name for this 1 thread. Probably don't need to, but did it just in case!)

Hermione1 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:26:11

If you think this old flame is interested in re-kiddling your old love, then perhaps it's not such a good idea to meet him, because he might think that you do too, because you've agreed to meet him, That's just my opinion and I could be wrong. I don't really know what else to say really, but i would be weary if you do decide to meet him, and if you do, i would tell him straight out that you only wanna be friends. Does your old love know you've got a partner and son?? Has he?

fostermum Thu 02-Jun-05 09:26:23

say you will meet him and take partner with you,that way he will get hint

666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:27:54

He has a girlfriend, but that hasnt stopped him before, (I didn't know about her) and he knows about dp and ds.

anorak Thu 02-Jun-05 09:28:02

You shouldn't worry about pissing him off. If he's pissed off that you don't want to carry on behind your dp's back then he isn't your friend, he's just a sleazeball.

666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:28:40

Maybe I should just be "busy" until he gets the hint. I am such a wimp!

MeerkatsUnite Thu 02-Jun-05 09:29:02


Would have to counsel you not to meet this man. Why has he appeared now, I would be suspicious of his motives.

Ex's are ex's often for good reason and this guy used you for sex previously. Not a "nice" man at all. After treating you like this why on earth would you want anything to do with him now?.

Being "friends" with ex's does not always work either and I would be very cautious of meeting up with this man at all. If you play with fire you can get burned, it could at the very least mess up your senses of self worth and self esteem.

666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:29:51

anorak, you are right. I should just tell him and get things straight, and if he doesnt like it he can screw himself

Sponge Thu 02-Jun-05 09:30:56

I can't really see why you want to meet him. You say all you had was sex, and you don't want that now, so you're probably better off leaving it. It's always flattering to think someone might fancy you but I don't think any good can come from seeing him.

666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:32:07

You are all right. Maybe I should just leave it. I love DP and I don't want to put what we have at risk.

666 Thu 02-Jun-05 09:36:03

He probably wont ring anyway, and if he does, I'll ignore it.


NorthWestNanny Thu 02-Jun-05 10:01:13

Hi 666, Just tell him if he calls to meet up, that you're happy with DS and DP and u wouldnt want to upset neither of them by meeting up with him.
He sounds like such a loser anyway, having a girlfriend and carrying on behind her back! makes me so angry!!!
Just concentrate on what matters the most - your partner and your son.

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