Why did he tell you?How did it arise in conversation? I can appreciate you must feel vulnerable after a bad exp with ex and I would be very cautious if I was you. On the one hand I've never had to hit anyone in self defense, but I know people who have-they never seriously injured the attacking party though, just restrained them forcefully. Were the police invoved? Do you know any of his friends/family that could tell you more? There are other potential partners out there if this has to end so please don't worry about that.
Why would someone, after only 3 weeks, admit to hitting a former partner (male or female)? Either: - he is (subconsciously or not) grooming you to future expectations - trusts you enough to hope that you will be able to see past this to the isolated incident it may be.
If he knows about your abusive past, I would be more inclined to option (a) to be honest, but maybe if you have told him he wants to be equally as honest in return?
If you haven't told him about your abusive past, I would definitely go for option (a).
Would he be happy for you to talk to any of his friends about "the incident"?
to his credit, he has told you before you potentially find out from some other source. MN is full of "well, he should have told you's......"
but like Dittany said, he may be testing your reaction to this news, and if you get past it, it could open the door for some sort of escalation on his part
oh, and you have been dating 3 wks ? That is not yet a relationship, so should be easy enough to walk away
unless you are one of those silly women (I might get flamed for this, I certainly have before, but it is truly my opinion) who thinks they are "madly in love" and have "found their soulmate" after just a few encounters
don't be one of those silly women, walk away if you want to, with your head held high
So if a guy doesn't tell a new partner about something bad in his past he's being deceitful and if he does he's grooming her for future abuse?
Sometimes I feel in this site that men just can't win. Can someone who has done something bad never ever have a relationship again?
His behaviour is not excusable, and it doesn't sound like he's making excuses - he told you what happened the way he sees it. Only you can decide whether you can be comfortable with him or not, in the end it comes down whether you will become so paranoid it will ruin the relationship or whether you think you can manage the fear (your history will have an impact on that, of course)
I would make it clear that if he ever so much as threatens to raise a finger at you you will leave, but then I've always felt that way (and did that with dh) even though no one I've ever been with has ever hit a woman afaik.
I'm totally in the 'one strike you're out' school with regards to violence, but that doesn't mean I can't imagine someone then going on to have a healthy relationship with someone else.
"unless you are one of those silly women (I might get flamed for this, I certainly have before, but it is truly my opinion) who thinks they are "madly in love" and have "found their soulmate" after just a few encounters "
No I'm not, I don't believe in soulmates. I used new man as it was quicker than typing man I've been dating for three weeks!