Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

perhaps i'm asking you to break a sacred bond

(30 Posts)
anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:23:38

Message withdrawn

starlover Wed 01-Jun-05 21:25:00

hmm, not sure... but I do know that when you are suspicious about thigns like this, you do tend to read more into things that are completely innocent...

what makes you think she is seeing someone else?

huggybear Wed 01-Jun-05 21:26:28

it can vary i suppose, from lack of affection and sex to her being over affectionate due to guilt. it depends on the person, you know her best. has anything changed?

beenthereanddonethat Wed 01-Jun-05 21:26:42

I know from first hand experience:

mood swings
being secretive with mobile phone
having to pop out all the time
new and improved social life with work colleagues
more and more interest in own appearance, the way she dresses, makeup etc.
change in general way of doing things i.e. less care about household bills etc.

anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:27:04

Message withdrawn

morningpaper Wed 01-Jun-05 21:27:18

new underwear

anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:28:11

Message withdrawn

starlover Wed 01-Jun-05 21:28:12

imagine you didn't already think she was having an affair...

would any of those small "stupid" things bother you then? Or are they things you have picked up on AFTER your first suspicions?

does that make sense?

jampots Wed 01-Jun-05 21:28:34

well my dh thinks im up to no good - i'll ask him in a minute why

dejags Wed 01-Jun-05 21:28:46

Are you sure about this AC? Maybe she is just a little more stressed than usual - how old is/are your child/ren?

phucknuckle Wed 01-Jun-05 21:28:49

AC, try to do a list, and we can see if you're suspicions are valid then.

jampots Wed 01-Jun-05 21:30:48


I take too long when Im out doing things
Im not affectionate
Lack of constant sex

Heathcliffscathy Wed 01-Jun-05 21:30:55

what kind of a name is that pk?

huggybear Wed 01-Jun-05 21:31:13

ah, i remember now. did you get chance to talk to her?

bty - dont think we've 'spoken' before - hi

Katemum Wed 01-Jun-05 21:31:55

I would agree with the new underwear, improved work social life, interest in own appearance also seeming very cheerful but not wanting to communicate.

anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:33:24

Message withdrawn

dejags Wed 01-Jun-05 21:35:47

I dont know AC - all explainable except the condoms, what did she say about that?

huggybear Wed 01-Jun-05 21:35:57

comdoms thing would worry me most?

do you have children? maybe shes just really down and can cover it to the outside world but cant hide her feelings at home.

has the sex thing always been like this?

starlover Wed 01-Jun-05 21:37:21

AC... she sounds like me!!!!

I think it is normal to tell other people that things are great, when underneath they aren't. Are you able to talk at all? DO you talk at all?

It could be that she is feeling a bit down... is she stressed at all at work? depression/stress etc could be reasons for the things you have mentioned...

anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:37:32

Message withdrawn

starlover Wed 01-Jun-05 21:38:39

it is hard to say without knowing what she is like... but i have done similar condom thing!

Wanted to have sex with DP, so got condoms, but was too scared to tell him because I am SO shy about sex and stuff and couldn't! So I hid them!

huggybear Wed 01-Jun-05 21:39:11

dont mean to be nosy but can you give us a bit more to go on...

have you talked to her about it yet? i remember a thread a while ago, that was you wasnt it?

Katemum Wed 01-Jun-05 21:39:59

I am def not seeing someone else but do have conversations with people saying my life is great and then have conversations with dh in which i tell him that i hate my life. Have had a struggle with pnd but find that i put up a front with everyone except for dh, he is the only one that i can be my miserable self with.
Oh and def would not be seeing someone else without purchasing said new underwear.

anonymouschap Wed 01-Jun-05 21:41:27

Message withdrawn

starlover Wed 01-Jun-05 21:42:45

tbh, as much as we want to help... i don't think you'll find the answers you're looking for here.

You do need to talk to her... not in an "are you having an affair" way... but in a "what's going on with US" way...

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: