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I've met someone else. I thought it would be easy

(5 Posts)
Matilba Sat 05-Sep-09 19:15:22

I have been in an unhappy relationship for 3 years. It was a mistake to even get involved in the first place but I did, probably out of boredom and frustration but I never intended it to last. God knows what I was thinking at the time.

Anyway, we moved in together. I have two DC's (one who thinks DP is great and see's him as a father figure and one who really doesn't like him) and DP has a DD who I get on well with. She's 14.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided enough was enough. I was in a stronger finantial position, I have a whole new circle of friends, I have my confidence back and I'm happy. My only problem is living here with DP.

So I began to make preperations to find my own place. I also became involved with another man. Now it's all become one big mess because I swore I'd never be unfaithful, I feel guilty 24/7, I wonder what the kids will think etc etc and what I thought would be an easy 'move out' now seems impossible. What the hell do I tell him?? what do I say to the kids?

DP, DS1 and DSS are going to be gutted. Part of me wonders if I should stay to keep the peace but its not fair on DP and it's not fair on myself. Nobody is ever going to be happy like this. But in the short term, everyone is going to hate me.

I just don't know what to do.

Earlybird Sat 05-Sep-09 19:18:02

Is the relationship with the other man ongoing? Would you be moving out to be with him, or to get your own place?

Level43 Sat 05-Sep-09 19:18:30

it's your life do what will make you happy - no point staying in a relationship that makes you feel crap cos the kids will only pick up on your unhappiness

andnowwhat Sat 05-Sep-09 19:28:40

You only get one shot at life so you have to do what is best for you. Sounds selfish but there it is.

Try to extract yourself from DP as humanely as possible and don't what ever you do move in with new man immediatly.
Let the dust settle and try find out if you really do want NM or was he just an added distraction and excuse to move on.

BadgersBait Sat 05-Sep-09 19:43:09

I agree with andnowhat, getting a place of your own with your children is the most important thing,if your not happy dont stay, i wouldnt want my child to think i was jumping from one man to another ifswim,your not married to your partner so i suppose thats a good thing if its now come to this, good luck x

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