I wasn't, it was an accident. I suffer chronic constipation and need to take laxitives every night. This morning, I was so desperate, I took an extra two. That's when it happened. DH's shirt was folded up in the bathroom, I just made it in there and the shirt was unfortunately in the firing line.
Then it turns out that the dog was an amazing dog and, in fact, had been in the act of saving the rest of the family from a monster, or a wolf, or something, that had broken into the house, and they were cowering in the wardrobe, with the slain monster blocking the wardrobe door shut.
When the dh finds them (and the body of the monster), he shoots himself in remorse, and then the OP does too, because she blamed the dog.