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Kill him or kiss him?

(12 Posts)
comeinnumber49yourtimeisup Sat 05-Sep-09 15:37:48

I met DP when I had just turned 39 and right from the start we have talked about forming our family through adoption because of a hereditary disease in his family which is more of a problem for him than me - I would take the chance. We never used contraception although I was supposed to say when it was not a 'good' time. I interpreted this as I saw fit, i.e. I ignored it - as I'm sure he knew I would. Anyway, my dastardly plans came to nix and six months later, as we hit two happy, committed years together, I turned 41 and found myself in the waiting room of a fertility clinic, planning ivf on my own with a donor. I took this plan home to DP who said he wasn't wild about it, wanted to adopt instead, felt railroaded etc. but in the face of my determination, said we should be treated together, which, since it worked, means he's the legal father of the child and very happy about it too - no problems with the donor aspect (perhaps his favourite part). We've told some of our friends and they've all cooed over DP, oh how generous and selfless etc. No mention of how I've grieved that I'm not carrying 'his' baby because I don't see him as a carrier of unwanted diseases but an amazing person the type of which should be added to the world not taken away. But hey, I got over it, I'm pregnant and I believe we have everything we need to love and parent this child.

I'm booked in for induction today, at 42 weeks, so I'm quite emotional and busy putting little babygros in my hospital bag. DP, lying on the bed, discussing names, gives me a weighty but sheepish look and says, I've been thinking maybe I'd like to have a child that is biologically mine. If you can and want to, after this, we should try.

We leave for the hospital in a couple of hours.

Can anyone think of a suitable emoticon?

bronze Sat 05-Sep-09 15:39:30

erm no

I would breathe deeply and ignore until things have settled down again

ShowOfHands Sat 05-Sep-09 15:39:53


That okay?

jeminthecellar Sat 05-Sep-09 15:44:18

Just concentrate on your upcoming birth, put all your energy into that...shelve his comments for later if you can...must be very difficult need to focus on having this baby for now I feel.

Good luck on your labour and birth!

comeinnumber49yourtimeisup Sat 05-Sep-09 15:44:50

Eyebrows are a little low for my liking, Showof...

Lizzylou Sat 05-Sep-09 15:46:56

I would just take a deep breath and get on with the business of giving birth to your child (both of yours).

Good luck and enjoy your newborn.

comeinnumber49yourtimeisup Sat 05-Sep-09 15:48:57

Quite, Jem, I have to give birth this evening, which is an enormous event I'm currently trying to process as best I can. Perhaps men can only really crystalise their views on the future when the moment is upon them? I'm not unhappy by the way, nothing has really changed, but I do feel rather adrift in already stormy seas...

twofalls Sat 05-Sep-09 15:50:43

blimey, he has great timing doesn't he?

I think as others have said you have to just try to put it to one side and concentrate on the birth of your child.

I really feel for you - I remember going in to be induced and being an emotional wreck without anything like that to deal with.

Good luck.

andnowwhat Sat 05-Sep-09 15:54:50

Just smile sweetly....

Good luck with the impending labour and l wish you every happiness with your impending arrival.
Your life will completly change now--enjoy it, savour every minute of the litle ones life, believe me the years pass so quickly grin.

As fot the original question l would probably kill him lol.

comeinnumber49yourtimeisup Sat 05-Sep-09 16:07:56

thanks andnow, we're both very excitedly nervous. Of course, there's still time for another bombshell in the taxi.

BerylCole Sat 05-Sep-09 16:11:14

Oh. His timing is absolutely shitty, I'll give him that.

Best of luck. xx

cherryblossoms Sat 05-Sep-09 16:15:20

Good luck with the birth.

Not sure about an emoticon but am picturing the sort of face Father Dougal often has in "Father Ted".

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