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Problems with DH- and I have no friends

(8 Posts)
RegularInGlassesAndTash Fri 04-Sep-09 19:14:24

I've name changed as I don't want to be judged.

Since DP and I got together 3 years ago, our friends have been pushed out- we are always skint, trying to pay debts, we have a baby and another one on the way, and jobs. So no time for friends. Chuck in some PND and tiredness, too.

My best friend has now decided she doesn't want to be friends anymore through reasons that actually have nothing to do with me, she's having IVF etc, can't get her head around things. I took it badly, DH didn't seem to have much sympathy but I said no doubt it'd be chucked at me in the next row. He said it wouldn't.

Tonight, we had a row and he threw at me that I only have 2 friends left. I have a few more, but 2 best friends.

We were coupley mates with his two mates and their girlfriends, but when I got pregnant I asked one not to tell anyone as we had MC'd and she went straight and told the other. They are sort of 'best friends' nowadays, and I tend to get uninvited to things. Or if we arrange a night out with one lot, they'll invite the other lot every time. The two girls are actually quite bitchy and difficult in general and I don't see too much of them.

DH went to the christening of one of their babies last year. I bought a new outfit etc. On the day, DH schitzed out, threw a tantrum and didn't want DS and I to go. So we didn't. DH went for 'half an hour' at 12 noon and returned home at 1am, leathered, having been out with loads of women, some of which I know have a thing for him (2 in particular) all hell broke loose when I found out.

Now it's their next baby's christening and I don't want to go. I think the last was bad enough without going through it again. DH wants to go.

They want us and the other couple to go 4 a meal some night next week but they do everything with the other couple so I will feel out of place IYSWIM.

DH says I hate everyone, have no friends, and I'm trying to make sure he's got none.

Please advise. There are loads more details. I don't want to 'drip feed' but it might happen sorry.

pinkthechaffinch Fri 04-Sep-09 19:24:47

If your DH wants you to go as his partner, then I'd go.

I wouldn't be happy with him going without me tbh, especially if he came home so late last time.

If he doesn't want you to go, then i'd be very concerned for the relationship in general.

With my ex, it was the beginning of the end, when he began to socialize without me.

RegularInGlassesAndTash Fri 04-Sep-09 19:34:53

He thinks I should go but I don't want to. I can't afford an outfit, nothing fits me because I'm pregnant and fat, and I will feel utterly out of place because I'm the odd one out who never knows anyone. Plus the girls who fancy DH will be there and always flirt with him infront of me.


Maybe it's not helping that I'm quite depressed at the moment.

AngryWasp Fri 04-Sep-09 19:46:03

You don't sound very happy. Your relationship doesn't sound very good at all.

WHY are you with this person? Is it purely about the children or because you don't think you'd get anyone better?

It doesn't sound like you have much respect for each other and where on earth do you see your relationship in 3 years time? Happier?

pinkthechaffinch Fri 04-Sep-09 20:28:26

I don't blame you for being upset when your BF decided she didn't want to be friends any more.

What about your family? Are they offering you any support? What's their take on your relationship with your DH?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 04-Sep-09 20:30:07

Of course he wants to go.

RegularInGlassesAndTash Fri 04-Sep-09 21:13:42

Love DH to bits. It's me. I know it's me. I'm managing to fall out with everyone now that my BF doesn't want to be friends. I'm so depressed all the time and I can't have ADs because they won't give them to me when I'm pregnant Keep asking for help and they won't give me any. Just a shitty time at the mo. And PND is worse than ever sad

ErikaMaye Fri 04-Sep-09 21:20:20

Why won't they perscribe ADs to you? I've just had my dose up to 40mgs, doctor and midwife both happy with it - general concensus seems to be if you're past week seven and need meds, then have them. Go and see a different doctor.

Sounds like you H isn't being very supportive, and rather manipulative in all honesty, thorwing delibrately painful things at you.

I can totally sympathise with the isolation thing, and speak from experience when I say that part of it IS the depression talking. Not that it makes it any easier. Does your H know you're ill? He really should be being more supportive of you right now.

Big hugs.

If its any consolation, a lot of pregnancy stores have sales on at the moment, so you might be able to pick up an outfit pretty cheaply if you do decide to go. Can totally understand why you wouldn't want to - I wouldn't, either - but maybe you should go to keep him in check, if that's how he acted last time..?

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