We have one dd, who is 6. I adore her but really don't want any more, but I feel bad for dh because he does. Before I married dh I didn't really want kids, dh did, we discussed it and decided to compromise on 1. He seemed ok with this but now he is hoping I'll change my mind and have another. He wishes we'd have an 'accident' before I get too old (I'm 41, he is 6 years younger). I don't think he'd leave me and dd but I don't want to think of him resenting me! Has anyone else had experience of this? I guess it's more often the other way around?
you're the one that will have to bear the brunt of this: pregnancy, labour, bf perhaps, and majority of childcare (most likely). is there some compromise to be had? have number 2, but get a cleaner or help a day a week. something like that?
yes, he does know how I feel. He won't normally bring the subject up directly, just drops it in to conversation sometimes even if we're with friends! It never really came up before dd started school, as until then we couldn't afford another - we both work (me PT since dd was born), and childcare costs were prohibitive. That would still be the case as we don't have family near, but that's not the main reason really - I've never been broody, and although I love dd to bits, I just can't face it all again. SIL is just about to have her first, and it still hasn't made me want another! I'd be doing it for dh and dd, but the age gap would be too big for them to be playmates. I guess they could be close later on. I'm an only btw.
It´s all about compromise, and you have compromised by having one, when you didn´t want any. His compromise was to accept one, which he is now not doing. Don´t give in if you really don´t want another. You´ll probably end up resenting the morning sickness, birth, nappies, broken nights and perhaps even the baby.