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parental responsibility and if we did split up could he just take the child? advice please

(13 Posts)
mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 09:44:45


at presnt me and dp have got two sons.he hasn't got parental responsibilty for them as they were born before end of 2003. he is on their birth certs though.

we are wanting another child but im a bit confused about the whole parental responsibility thing. if we had another child and then split up, would that mean that he could take the new child and refuse to give it back? if he has parental responsibility would he be able to do that and then mean id have to go to court to get the child back? i know that with the two we have already he cant take them if we split without my permission as he hasnt got parental responsibility for them.i obviously wouldnt stop him seeing them and would give him access rights.

any advice is gratefully received. im just wanting to know where i stand and also if we were to marry he'd have responsibility for all of them then and could just take them if we split and then id have to fight to get them back? obviously wont use the facts to base my marriage/another baby decision, i just want to know how things stand before hand.a friend is goig through similar and was told that the dad could keep the child and the police wont remove the child to give back to her as the dad has parental rights.

thank you

mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 09:46:15

we are in the uk by the way

just read that if the dad hasnt got parental responsibility and the mother dies then the children wont automatically be allowed to stay living with him. surely they would?

seems so complicated to me.

mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 11:36:22


monkeypinkmonkey Mon 31-Aug-09 11:39:25

Have a read of this and see if it helps

monkeypinkmonkey Mon 31-Aug-09 11:40:36

sorry here

GypsyMoth Mon 31-Aug-09 11:42:32

You would need to prove you are main carer and gain residency. Though you could do 50/50 care. Police wouldn't remove child as it's not a police matter if child is safe with a parent. Depends if you have been to court beforehand.

Portofino Mon 31-Aug-09 11:47:37

If you are not married, and your dp attends the Registry office to register the birth with you, then he would automatically get PR of a new baby. If you register the birth alone, he wouldn't.

I'm more concerned in why you are worried about this at a time when you are thinking of having another child.

I know when you're not married it's important to understand the legal side of things to ensure you are protected should anything happen.

Do you have a reason to think that your dp would want to leave you and take the children? I certainly wouldn't be thinking of a 3rd if I was unsure....

mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 11:55:49

thank you for your responses.its a new situation for me to think about. as he has no parental responsibility legally for our two already, if we were to split up then they would stay with me and he would visit. im just thinking ahead for when we have another one, if we split up or had an argument could he just take the little one and then id have to go to court to get the child back with the other two.

i hope to god he wouldn't ever do that, its just handy to know what the situation is.i have a friend who is staying with her a**e of a dp because he's told her if they split he will take their child.

im assuming that if anything ever happened to me, the children would automatically stay living with their dad in our house but as he hasn't got parental responsibility i dont know if that would happen?

its all so wondering whether to get him responsibility for all three of them if we have another child

mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 12:02:01

portofino just read your message. i dont think that dp would ever try to take the children.its just something that i would like to know where i stand with before we have another one.i knew when having the other two that i was the only person with parental responsibility and if we ever split then he couldnt take them if he ever decided to be nasty. you never know what people will do if things turn never stop him seeing the children/taking them out so i hope he'd never have reason to want to take them.

we both really want another child and are secure in our relationship. i think the thing that made me question where i stand is that a friend was talking about it yesterday and that her ex has already warned her if she does something he doesnt like then he will take the child. made me think i suppose.

Portofino Mon 31-Aug-09 12:02:05

useful info here You can apply to get PR for him for the eldest 2.

Your friend should be seeking some professional advice I think!

mumandlovingit Mon 31-Aug-09 12:06:47

ive told her to go and see a solicitor or C.A.B maybe. she shouldnt be staying with him through fear.

thank you for your responses.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 31-Aug-09 12:26:57

I believe that if the child usually lives with one parent, if the other takes it without consent or refuses to return it, that is kidnap. Parents can't just snatch children from each other willy nilly because they have PR. Where the child usually lives and who is the main carer is the decider to where they live.

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 31-Aug-09 14:57:53

Your DH would be granted PR by the courts for the other two children if he applied for it following a split. Its very rare that a request would not be granted.

Given that, it shouldnt matter if he automatically gets it for the third.

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