This is going to be long, so bear with me...some background:
I've been married for 5 years and have a 2yo DS. I've had PND recently and DH is suffering from depression too - currently on ADs.
We live about 200 miles from my family, his family are near-ish. We are in our late 20s.
I recently found out I am pregnant again - unplanned, I had been on the mini pill.
I've been doing my best to support DH during a difficult few weeks - he is unhappy at work, feels 'trapped' in marriage/children situation but says he still loves me, so I've been trying hard to help him.
The other night he told me he had thought of a solution to our marriage problems. He thinks it would be wrong to separate as it would have a negative effect on DS, who apparently is his biggest priority. Instead he has suggested (get ready, it's a blinder) that we share a house for the sake of DS, but tell everyone else we're not actually in a relationship any more, and (this is the best bit) he should be free to have relationships/sex with other people if he wants to!
I know, it's taken me about three days to actually get my head round this. Apparently if I/other people can't handle this, it's because they are too narrow-minded and why should anyone dictate what a marriage should/shouldn't be?
So basically he thinks I will agree to live with him, but not have sex with him/act like his wife, and happily welcome his new girlfriends into our home When I objected to this and said we might as well just separate, he took offence at the suggestion as it would be 'bad for DS' to have separated parents...
I have told him I'm not going to get rid of this pregnancy as I would regret an abortion for ever- I do not want to be grieving for a lost child as well as a fucked marriage. His response was that I've got no right to object to him sleeping with other people then, as 'it's his body and he can do what he likes', just like me keeping this pg. Great parallel, no? (Did I say yet?)
So who would like to join me in thinking up some choice ways to describe this proposal? Honestly, I am on the verge of tears constantly, and if I don't get angry I will just sit and cry.
Before anyone suggests it, I am already looking into rent prices in the area my family are from. Just need a bit of an MN kick up the arse (cos we dont' do hugs, do we )
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Help me think of some new expletives to describe my husband please
ExtraFancy · 30/08/2009 20:21
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