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At last I can finally escape from this destructive relationship

(4 Posts)
lilac21 Sat 29-Aug-09 23:31:17

I've posted before, starting in January, about making the decision to end my marriage and then at intervals about living with the consequences of having made that decision. It has been a very tough seven months of continuing to share the same house (and bed for the first six weeks) and not being 'allowed' to tell the children what was going on. He wouldn't accept that I wanted to end it and told me he would defend a divorce and put every obstacle in my path that he could.

Last month he finally agreed to mediation and we had our final appointment yesterday. He has offered me enough money to buy a house for me and the girls although I'll have to top it up with a mortgage. It's not everything I'm entitled to, but I need to get out and this makes it possible. I'll argue about the rest later when I have my own home and the strength to insist on my entitlement.

Thanks, MNers, for being there for me, and I hope that anyone who is facing the end of their marriage/relationship in similar circumstances can see that there is a future after you make that most difficult decision, although sometimes you need to be very patient and persistent.

GypsyMoth Sat 29-Aug-09 23:46:20

Good in you!!

I left 5 years ago.......and can still feel the relief! Little things like moving furniture around my way without permission, buying what I like...... No more feeling stifled or like a naughty child !

Keep going! It's great

therealme Sun 30-Aug-09 00:50:19

Hey, Lilac, I just seperated from my h after 17 yrs of abuse. It took a visit to court to do it, but I'm free and also basking in the realisation that I no longer need permission to give the kids Coco bloody pops if I want!!

Kally Sun 30-Aug-09 08:31:26

I left 5 years ago after 26 years of it... (but left with nothing, literally nothing).

Today I have my job, my little rented house, my patio, my 2 cats, and my independance.

I wasn't physically abused but ex was a control freak in a laid back sort of way (so you couldn't actually put your finger on it).

Live is mine now, my decisions, my mistakes, all of it down to me and my choices. I think I am a very sane person and try my best to be honest and fair.

My daughter has no hang ups and is sweet and docile (whereas through living in amongst disharmony she was aggro and difficult).

It was the BEST thing I ever could have done. Good luck. Soon, when you breath you will actually feel air going into your lungs. It's wonderful.

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