I give up I honestly do
Bit of background, sorry is long, so I have always had a tough relationship with my Mum she favoured my younger brother big time, I felt no love or affection growing up from her, by the time I reached 19 I was really forced to leave home, I then sought help for depression, anxiety and terribly low self esteem, in my counselling sessions it came out that a lot of thos was due to my relationship with my mother never feeling good enough etc and also that she may have had jealousy issues which is apaprently quite common especially if mothers see their daughters getting more freedowm.education etc than they ever had. Anyway after I moved out our relationship was fraught at best, after the DDs were born she said some relaly nasty spiteful things always just to me to everyone else she was so proud of me etc but to me never a compliment always putting me down etc last year I decided enough was enough I was going to make no effort with her at all leave it up to her to contact me etc so since Dec I have not seen or heard from her until my birthday when a card arrived with a not in it stating that she was sorry I felt "it" was her fault and I was holding a grudge so I wrote her a letter telling her why I wasn't making contact and what had upset me (things like saying I would be better mcing DD3 etc)
So a letter arrives back today, in it she takes no responsibilty for anything she said but puts it back on me that as a little girl I thought I knew everything, was so independent and didn't need her, I think I am better than her and that it is me being a barrier to her having a relationship with her grandchildren. On and the fact she didn't have the benefit of a uni education
So because I had opinions different to her, had a work ethic that she lacks, have different moral values such as believing if you want something you work for it that's why she behaves the way she does, i.e. it's my fault not hers.
Now every little girl I know is like me, a little madam know it all, she still goes on about how I would push her away and do things myself yet my brother would allow her to feed and dress him, like she resents me for being independent and bright.
I have 3 daughters the same as me very bright and independent, instead of resenting them I encourage it I want fiesty independent women, my mother thinks women should only work un until they have children and never earn more than their husbands and that men are superior and even if they beat you you should stay with them as that's you job honestly.
What a head f* sorry for language
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Relationships
Wait until you hear this, my relationship with my toxic mother is all my fault for being an independent little girl
sweetkitty · 29/08/2009 23:14
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