Dh and I have been together forever. Married 17yrs this October. Lived together 6 yrs before that. We met when we were very young and have been together ever since, apart from a break when I was at university.
I have a supreme confidence in my marriage. I don?t mean it doesn't go wrong from time to time and I do feel pissed off with DH at times, but fundamentally it's OK. And I have this overwhelming belief that if the marriage ends it will be because I end it. It's in my hands. I am never jealous of DH. It has never occurred to me to be so. I don't see the need to pander to him to keep him on side - if I do things to please him it's because I want to make him happy, not because I am afraid he will leave me or be unfaithful. That doesn't mean I don't love him, it just means that I don't ever imagine he will break the rules. And if he did I can't quite shake the feeling that I'd manage perfectly well without him. All this comes from the deep down fact that I think he is bloody lucky to have me. Which sounds supremely arrogant but it's true. There isn't anyone who knew DH years ago who wouldn't agree that without me he was going down the pan - bad childhood, no future, no plans.
I have never questioned this feeling of mine but having seen other marriages break down, some of which were marriages that everyone assumed were carved in stone, I do wonder now whether I have my head in the clouds. That I shouldn't be so sure of myself. And isn't it natural to have some doubts or concerns - I think that maybe I don't have enough of an emotional investment in the marriage. I don't envy people who go through the mill emotionally in their relationships but surely be so steady and clear-eyed isn't good.
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Relationships
Is this much confidence misplaced?
OrmIrian · 28/08/2009 16:42
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