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feel awful about the way I've treated a friend

(19 Posts)
kittykittybangbang Thu 27-Aug-09 15:25:51

I'm new to the boards but hoping someone can tell me whether I've done the right thing. I went on a night out with my friends who I've known since school. There is always an argument with this one girl in our group whenever we go out and this time it was my turn. She had been gone for about 30 mins after going to the toilet so I went to look for her. I asked her if she was ok and she told me to F* off so I went back out and she lied to everyone else about it. Well, the next day she sent a message to my friend saying that I pestered her. Her mood swings are terrible and she has a habit of storming off when anyone confronts her. Today I got a text from her saying saying sorry it was the wine I'd been drinking. I just couldn't accept such a backhand apology so I've said I can't have any contact with her any more. Is it wrong to just be so tired with making an effort with this friend?

llareggub Thu 27-Aug-09 15:30:14

Are you all about 12?

kittykittybangbang Thu 27-Aug-09 15:39:53

You'd think wouldn't you? I don't see this girl much as our lives have taken very different paths but just wanted an opinion on whether it's acceptable to just give up on someone.

SlartyBartFast Thu 27-Aug-09 15:40:26

i dont unerstand wht you did wrong?

PitysSake Thu 27-Aug-09 15:40:31

she was sniffing coke

TheChilliMooseisOmnipotent Thu 27-Aug-09 15:41:14

It's perfectly acceptable to end a friendship if it is a drain on you. Life is too short.

TheChilliMooseisOmnipotent Thu 27-Aug-09 15:41:23

It's perfectly acceptable to end a friendship if it is a drain on you. Life is too short.

SlartyBartFast Thu 27-Aug-09 15:41:34

what the op?

kittykittybangbang Thu 27-Aug-09 15:43:07

PitysSake, I did wonder about that, actually that would explain the mood swings, wouldn't it?

PitysSake Thu 27-Aug-09 15:44:23

yy deffo

Heathcliffscathy Thu 27-Aug-09 15:47:32

coke doesn't take 30 minutes to sniff!!! what makes you think that she was on coke? maybe she was constipated, or has piles??

either way, yes tis fine to stop seeing someone if you've had enough. but why do you feel terrible about it, unless you like her, in which case better to talk to her about it all (when both sober!)

ZZZenAgain Thu 27-Aug-09 15:48:39

that's what I thought too, drugs. She was doing something there tht she didn't want you to know about.

If she's always having an argument with someone in the group when you go out, why do you all bother with her? Then again now you've said you don't want contact, what are you gong to do next time the crowd goes out together, presumably she'll be there.

BitOfFun Thu 27-Aug-09 15:49:02

Could be. Doesn't make everyone aggressive though, although a lot of shit is talked which is assumed to be fascinating...

PS prob right though.

thumbwitch Thu 27-Aug-09 15:49:55

perfectly ok to give up on her if she's not your close mate - but will you have to give up going out with your group of friends because of it?

I have a friend who was a nightmare drunk - very verbally aggressive and a PITA. Nothing any of us could do about it until one night, after I'd dropped her off at her house, she fell going up the garden path and cut open her face. She didn't even notice until next morning shock and her mum phoned me to find out what had happened to her. She thought someone had hit her! We worked out she had fallen from the mud on the knees of her jeans - anyway, she was shocked enough herself that she couldn't remember falling and hurting herself that she agreed to go see a doc about her drinking and she got better after that. But - she was a good friend, one I would be loath to lose.

IF this friend of yours isn't that great, don't worry about it. If OTOH, you care a lot about her, try talking to her.

tiredemma Thu 27-Aug-09 15:51:44

30 mins is long time to have aline of coke. She sound like a horrendous drunk

Curiousmama Thu 27-Aug-09 15:53:12

Yes I have a good friend who is aggresive in drink but she's never told me to fuck off!
Agree maybe she is on coke, a lot are apparently? You'd think seeing famous noses falling to bits would put them off?

thumbwitch Thu 27-Aug-09 16:01:22

curiousmama, my friend did tell me to fuck off, several times. Some just do, I think! She was incredibly rude to other people who she didn't know when she was drunk, too - very embarrassing!

ZZZenAgain Thu 27-Aug-09 16:01:49

if you feel really bad about it, just say, oh you know when I told you I can't have any more contact? I was really drunk

since that is how she deals with things, she should accept it. If she is always storming off, telling her friends to F* off and so on, is it worth it though?

kittykittybangbang Thu 27-Aug-09 16:05:23

Thanks for your replies, I do care about her as we were good friends for a long time. But I can't make so much effort any more. Now I just think I'm sick of sarky remarks and bitch fits! A couple of my other friends do get on with her but I think if they were really loyal to her after her recent behaviour then I wouldn't want to bother with them either. This girl has had a really big issue with me since I got married and had a baby because apparently I'm jealous of her single life.

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