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I don't miss him

(11 Posts)
notwhoyouthink2 Mon 24-Aug-09 14:59:57

I've been away on work-related travel for about 2 months now and I don't miss my dh. Has anyone else ever experienced similar? Is this the last sign or is it possible that it will come back when I see him? We've been having troubles for a long time (3 years?) and have had talks repeatedly about trying to get back to what we used to have but nothing ever changes. He is at home moping about saying he misses me while I am away and don't miss him at all... And, so I'm wondering if it really is time to end it...

lilacclaire Mon 24-Aug-09 15:05:29

3 years is a long time to be having troubles.
It sounds like the relationship has run its course, which is sometimes simply the case.
I would end it now tbh.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 24-Aug-09 15:07:41

I wouldn't be so quick to divorce.

Maybe you are just into your work and just getting on with it.

What job takes you away for 2 months?

Do you want to fix your marriage?

notwhoyouthink2 Mon 24-Aug-09 15:21:24

In theory, I'd like to fix it for dd's sake but I don't think I love him anymore. And, it's not really about being into my job. I've had time off too, complete with over-analysis of life. And, also experience with being the sole-carer(plus daycare help, clearly) with my dd. And, realising that not having him around is not all that different. But, I wish I didn't feel like this.

lilacclaire Mon 24-Aug-09 15:40:28

Are you happier when he's not around?

How would you feel if he was in another relationship, would you be devastated?

If you don't love him, its not fair on either of you, you deserve to be with someone you love and he deserves to be loved.

notwhoyouthink2 Mon 24-Aug-09 15:46:28

I'm definitely not any less happy when he's not around but not sure if I'm happier (it's been a rough few months). I would be relieved if he were to find someone else so that I could stop feeling bad about thinking of leaving him. I almost want him to cheat on me so that I have an excuse to get out. All of these things are not good signs, I know. But, I ache when I think about my dd.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 24-Aug-09 16:08:03

You can't stay with him for her sake.
Where is she when you are away working?

notwhoyouthink2 Mon 24-Aug-09 16:22:50

She traveled with me and is in daycare most days while I work. There was no way I would leave her for 2 months. He has the patience of squirrel (are they impatient?) She misses her daddy. And that makes me wonder if there's any way that I can make it work for her sake. But, I'm dreading going home (in a few days) and having to deal with him...

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 24-Aug-09 16:25:56

Well of course she is missing her dad.

You really need to get home and talk to your husband.

doggiesayswoof Mon 24-Aug-09 16:31:02

If you split, your DD would still see him.

I personally don't agree with staying with someone you don't love.

My parents' marriage was loveless and they waited till we were all grown up before they divorced.

It was a total sham and we were all miserable.

My mum especially was frustrated, unhappy, unfulfilled and angry and it's not fun being brought up by someone who feels that way all the time.

three years is a long time to try.

notwhoyouthink2 Mon 24-Aug-09 17:27:22

Yes, three years feels like an eternity...

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