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is it me or are a lot of women NOT NOTICING their hs are having affairs on here atm

(102 Posts)
PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:12:05

for eg the mate in the car thread

the golf text thread

WAKE UP!!

MaDuggar Mon 24-Aug-09 12:14:53

which threads? I dont think ive read those

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:15:38

th oen about a joke on active convos atm is thsi a joke or some such
and one yeasterday about the dad of a newborn going out toll 2am wiht HER bestmate

OrmIrian Mon 24-Aug-09 12:16:36

Really? Bugger! I thought DH was taking DS#2, DS#1 and 4 mates to the skate park but maybe I should be less naive....

Waddya mean?

AnyFucker Mon 24-Aug-09 12:17:20

but that is how it is, PS

the women are usually the last to know, and because they don't want to believe it, they will rationalise dodgy behaviour until they are forced to confront the truth

I have read them both, and agree with you, if those blokes are not having an affair yet, they soon will be

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:18:05

adn you get endless " well maybe he is talking macrame" type posts and then you say check his bloody phone adn they think you are nuts

aRLcat Mon 24-Aug-09 12:18:15

They know something's going on or they wouldn't be posting!

They can't possibly know until proven either way, so wondering is all they can do until that point.

...so they post for support/advice in the often painful process of that realisation.

What's your problem?!

GypsyMoth Mon 24-Aug-09 12:19:51

ah well such is life!!

what does this thread achieve? maybe go to the said threads and offer your wisdom?

MaggieLeo Mon 24-Aug-09 12:20:21

well, it looked to me like she is noticing it. Give her ten minutes to collect the facts and marshall her thoughts tho!

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:20:28

here is one Imo - would like to be wrong

itsn ot a PROBLEM for me - just think the wives should challenge more robustly or the fuckers will carry on

GypsyMoth Mon 24-Aug-09 12:23:14

this is why i'm not married......too much of yourself gets invested in a relationship. these days its sooo easy to cheat,so they do!! how many marriages make it to silver anniversary i wonder.....not counting our poarents generation...

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:24:00

but presumanbly you have a partner
same diff

aRLcat Mon 24-Aug-09 12:24:23

I agree with you there but in that situation it's unbelievably difficult to face and deal with the glaringly obvious, frustrating as it can be from an outsiders POV.

Hence posting for help/advice/suport.

MaggieLeo Mon 24-Aug-09 12:25:10

pitsysake, i read the op's post, and I hear you. what strikes me though, is how terrified modern supposedly confident, fairly well-educated women are of being single.

Is it the stigma! Is it the adjustment? Is it financial matters? why do so many women carry on living with a selfish/cheating/controlling man, when they could be independent and free, responsible for their own happiness, their own good moods uninterrupted by a petulant selfish man.... their own plans no longer have to be compromised to a man who puts himself first.

ONLY a good relationship with a good man is worht having.

in 2009, I am deeply shocked by how many women are still effectively trapped in a relationship with an awful man.

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:25:56

yes very hard.

But there is a " wake up and smell the coffee" moment I think where some more robust adivce han " oh hugs" would be needed.

specially as probably everyone else around them knows baout it

aRLcat Mon 24-Aug-09 12:26:00

(I was agreeing with challenging more robustly or the fuckers will carry on BTW. Couldn't have put it better!)

AnyFucker Mon 24-Aug-09 12:26:32

and then you get those "trust" threads...

there have been a couple recently "would you object to your dh going out alone with a woman", or that one where the woman was going out on what was really a "date" to the cinema with a platonic male friend and she asked would your DH's mind ?

you can't win, tbh

you trust too much, make too many allowances, bend over backwards to be "right-on", "oh yah, of course I trust my DH to be out til the early hours with her, because she is my friend and he is such a good father...."

or you put your foot down and look like a sad, paranoid person

there is a middle ground, I'm sure

unfortunately, these situations seem stacked in the favour of unscrupulous, cheating twats

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:26:53

Maggie i think you make good points
how terrifying to be single - financial confidence issues and also emotional.
As we know women will put up wiht a lot - this is where Xenia has a point shock

saintmaybe Mon 24-Aug-09 12:27:48

But it must be a hell of a journey from love/ trust to realisation of betrayal, and isn't it right that it should be a long one? dykwim?

And the h's might not be... sad

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:28:10

very god point from you AF too

A rwlative of mine admitted to me its the stigma/status issue too - its tough being a dumped single in a world of smug marrieds

GypsyMoth Mon 24-Aug-09 12:30:45

i have a live out boyfriend....and thats the way its staying!!

friends think he'll move in,we'll marry.....no,no,no....in my opinion,thats when it goes all wrong!

aRLcat Mon 24-Aug-09 12:32:36

Pity, I totally understand what you're saying but I don't think there is any way to make someone come to their senses more quickly than they are ready to.

Maggie, I don't thing it's necessarily a fear of being alone, it's more often the fear of being fucked over by someone who's meant to give half a shit.

That's the realisation that is most awful to comprehend, that's what blows any one persons world apart, IMO above potential singledom.

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:34:34

thin line and all? yes. Any man who is tecting another woman sexually suggestive msgs is being emotionally unfaithful imo

AnyFucker Mon 24-Aug-09 12:36:17

aRLcat, I agree with you

imagine the feeling that the person you trusted, made marriage vows with, had children with, you have invested so much of yourself with can be capable of shitting on you from such a great height

that sticking his dick in another woman means more to him than his family

truly awful

PitysSake Mon 24-Aug-09 12:37:20

OR the worst imo is leaving you adn your kids to live with someother bitches kids
and thentrying all to be mates

wankers!

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