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sex query..

(9 Posts)
purplepeony Sun 23-Aug-09 16:19:26

am also going to post this in the Health forum.

I don't get much out of penetration, TBH. I don'tknow if this is a post- baby thing, as my DCs are grown up, so hard to remeber what it was like years back!

I have never orgasmed vaginally, and now although I feel close to my partner during sex, actual thrusting or whatever does absolutely nothing for me.
I wonder if it's because I have had a repair and have lost sensation, or of this is common anyway?

Malificence Sun 23-Aug-09 16:35:49

The pleasure in sex is in your head as much as in your body, if you think you've lost feeling, then you won't enjoy it as much - try and look at the whole sexual act, the intimacy and closeness and how you feel about each other .
I don't have orgasms from doggy style sex yet I love it because of the feeling of being "taken" and the fact that my hubby loves it too , it just feels "dirty" somehow and that makes it good.
Lots of women don't have g-spot orgasms, now we apparently have u-spots and a-spots to contend with too!
I can have vaginal orgasms when I'm on top of my hubby and I'm in control of the rhythm and positioning, not every time though.
If you can orgasm clitorally then a vibrating cock ring is a good little toy to have, it requires practice and a motion
rather than thrusting - If I were you I'd try lots of positions, assuming you don't have pain with deep penetration then having your bum up on pillows feels good or you could try the CAT position as it's very gentle.

purplepeony Sun 23-Aug-09 16:41:26

tell me more about CAT....

trefusis Sun 23-Aug-09 16:44:30

Message withdrawn

Malificence Sun 23-Aug-09 17:32:18

The u- spot is your urethral sponge and it seems to be where female ejaculation comes from, it does with me anyway - a firm tongue around my urethra is heavenly and I've squirted more than once.
The a-spot, I think, is opposite the g-spot but I think they're just trying to go through the alphabet personally!

The CAT is the coital alignment technique and if you go onto i-village or lovers guide , there are illustrations , basically it's man on top with pelvis on yours, rocking not thrusting for maximum clitoral contact - it's meant to be very successful, but it takes a while to get into.
I-village has some good postions to try, there's a site called sex positions 101 or similar and it has animations of some really great postions too.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 23-Aug-09 18:05:35

Position is key. For me, things have to be slow, at my pace and unhurried for me to really enjoy penetration. Most women orgasm clitorally and orgasms through penetration are due to stimulation on the clitoris combined with arousal from the penetration. It's quite hard to achieve without manual help, and for me, I lost the knack during pregnancy when there was no way his pelvis could get anywhere near my clitoris - so now I always orgasm through manual help whether during penetration or not - don't feel strange for that.
My personal favourites for getting revved up are doggy style with me leaning/sitting back a bit with him sitting back on his feet IYSWIM, and reverse cowgirl with me leaning right forwards. Take it slow and enjoy the sensations, don't expect to orgasm this way necessarily, but that's not really the point.

MamazontheDailyMailtakingadump Sun 23-Aug-09 18:16:21

Honestly very few women will be able to orgasm through vaginal entry alone.
most women will reach climax because of the contact between his pelvis and the clitoris.

do you enjoy being on top? if your comfortable try rocking back and forward rather than bobbing up and down. it will help rub your clitoris against him.
also agree that CAT isd fantabulous

Malificence Sun 23-Aug-09 19:44:33

On top and grinding forwards with a belly dance type rolling of the hips is yummy - get him slightly sat up and you can hold onto the headboard or get him to pull your shoulders down towards him. It's fabulous tummy, hip and thigh workout too!
You can also control his climax by speeding up/slowing down a few times, he will thank you for it as makes his climax stronger too.
Flat on your front with hips slightly raised can be very nice too.
There are so many nice positions to choose from but being done very slowly from behind is a personal favourite, closely followed by me on top having my hair pulled, nipples bitten and bottom spanked/massaged.
Here's looking forward to twice a day holiday sex commencing next Saturday!

Malificence Sun 23-Aug-09 19:49:57

One more point, it takes us ladies at least 20 minutes to get going, perhaps you're rushing and not giving yourself the time to get sufficiently aroused?
Have you tried one of the arousal gels or a nice lube - I can't recommend lube highly enough, I used to think it was only for post menopausal women but it honestly improves sex no end. Durex silky lube and tingle lubes are good but my fave is the Tracey cox super slippy, it's really lovely, we very rarely have sex without lube any more.

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