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Were you proposed to, or did you propose, or did you come to a mutual decision?

(15 Posts)
limonchik Sat 22-Aug-09 23:58:11

Me and DP seem to have decided to get married next year. We've had a few discussions about venues, guestlists and the honeymoon, budgeting and saving etc.

But I am feeling like I've missed out on being proposed to. I have been given no ring (and am not hopeful of getting one unless I organise it and probably pay for it from the joint account). I don't feel very engaged

Am I being a bit silly to be missing the romance? We are generally quite a modern, gender-equal couple and won't be having a trad wedding anyway.

Tortington Sat 22-Aug-09 23:59:20

no not silly at all, but hes not psychic - he prob needs telling

limonchik Sun 23-Aug-09 00:04:40

I think I will probably tell him to get me a ring. But that's not quite the romantic, down on one knee suprise proposal I once envisaged for myself!

Tortington Sun 23-Aug-09 00:06:11

really just tell him

"i know its not usually me, but when you get me a ring would you please make it a surprise and propose on one knee and everything"

am sure he would accomodate - he loves you!

PinkTulips Sun 23-Aug-09 00:14:16

We've decided jointly to get married but dp has been ordered to propose to me, with ring, before that time. I've shown him the type of ring i like and he knows the type of proposal i'd like... as soon as we're not flat broke we'll get 'engaged' grin

limonchik Sun 23-Aug-09 00:45:25

Hmm, I guess that's the approach I'll have to take too PinkTulips!

diddl Sun 23-Aug-09 10:45:16

I was proposed to, but not presented with a ring.
We chose that together.
Or, rather, I chose, he paid.
Then we told everyone.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 23-Aug-09 10:58:53

I proposed at leap year and he said no. We had only been together for about 6 weeks. grin

He knew I wanted to marry him. He proposed and he had bought me a ring I had liked and tried on but wouldn't buy me that particular day.

We had one day grinning at each other and buying wedding magazines and then we told everyone the next day.

ImmaterialGirl Sun 23-Aug-09 11:18:07

limonchik I'm in pretty much exactly the same situation as you. No real advice, as I'm not sure how I'd get a proposal without asking for it...

The most frustrating part, I think, is knowing whether this is just talking about a definite, but vague, future, or if I can ask that we set a date. A proposal perhaps makes it more clear that 'now we start planning'? But then you hear of people being engaged for years, so maybe it's not that simple...

He loves you and wants to marry you though, so if you want a proposal, ask for it!

limonchik Sun 23-Aug-09 11:35:01

I know what you mean about the uncertainty I have dropped some very big hints about proposals/rings today though so hopefully something will materialise!

diddl Sun 23-Aug-09 15:32:11

Well, if you´ve decided to get married, is he now likely to propose?
But if you want a ring, just say that now you´re engaged, you´d better go & choose a ring!

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Sun 23-Aug-09 15:48:24

We just kind of decided to get married as well.
I never had a ring until we ordered wedding rings (mind you we had 8 weeks between deciding and marrying) and I chose a bridal set that had both rings.
I did ask dh to propse to me, I did know what night it was going to happen but it actually didn't make it any less lovely.
He got the ring from where I kept it, we'd had a lovely meal and wine after putting dc's to bed so it had been lovely already.
Yes I knew when it was going to happen but dh said some lovely things about how he felt about me and what marrying me meant to him and it was as lovely as it would have been had it been a surprise.

Just tell your dp he loves you and will want you to be happy.

ChocHobNob Sun 23-Aug-09 15:55:22

We agreed to get married before the proposal. During the discussion I just casually asked, so am I getting a proposal or is this it? I think that did the trick {grin} He then proposed on holiday, during a walk on the beach one night shortly after, with a ring.

sayithowitis Sun 23-Aug-09 16:55:03

No, we just sort of decided to get married. Had a 'ringless' engagement (too skint)whilst we saved for wedding and first home. Never had the proposal at all, but did finally get an engagement ring on our silver wedding!

Romance is lovely, and DH does do romantic things, but IMO, it is only romantic when he does it without me nagging for it!

Honestly, the lack of an engagement ring never bothered me one bit. When he suggested it as my silver wedding gift, he said it was to say ' I've loved you for the past 25 years, I love you today and I will love you for the next 25 years and beyond'. how much more romantic can you get!

schilke Sun 23-Aug-09 17:03:44

Decided together and got married a week later. We don't really do romance iykwim!

I was proposed to by a previous boyfriend - very romantic ... spanish, proposed halfway up a castle on Costa Brava coast. I didn't actually answer was too stunned!

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